Oct 30, 2016
More Like The PBR Open…Capone Takes First And The Boston Season Officially Begins
MBA CHAPTER- BOSTON, MA
As new and exciting things like mediocre bowling bring together friends old and new, Kirsten Zeller is still catching Z’s wherever she can, as she is found napping in her car an hour before the games begin.
The first Sweetness Open for the Boston Chapter truly showed off the crowd’s beer drinking skills and short attention span (see: giant claw machine). Boston had some big shoes to fill as the second official chapter in the infamous Mediocre Bowling Association and Chapter Leader Maria Crooker was seen begging anyone who would listen to give her a leopard print bowling ball for Christmas stating, “I want to be just like Hillary!”.
With 19 players and 1 true champion who played one game before heading to work, the lanes were filled with laughter, heckling, and some interesting bowling styles. Game one began with a $5 bet between Beth Hubbard and Ladd Crooker Jr. that Beth couldn’t get her ball to go through two pins, as opposed to knocking them over. Truly mediocre.
Mark Capone, Ladd Crooker Sr., and Kenny McCowan were heard boasting about their anticipated strikes and wins with Capone coming out on top with a 142 in game one. With the trashy lady cheering us on, some bowlers were eager to take her home. Kaitlin Bowie embraced her likely title as Gutter Trash bravely as she went on to throw 17 gutter balls, becoming MBA Boston’s first Gutter Trash Award winner.
Game two went on to show Sean Bartlett’s admiration for his new fiancé, Alyssa D’urso by missing his turn (more than once) to win her a prize from the gutter claw machine. At one point when Bartlett was nowhere to be found, Alyssa was overheard saying “I gave him quarters to go play in the arcade like a good little boy”.
Game three started with Cory Loder finally catching up, since he was late as usual to the lanes. League pool is at $250 and rising for the person with the average of minutes he is late this season. Mediocre betting is also our specialty. Loder came in a close fourth, too little too late.
A big shout out to Beth Hubbard for staying sober enough to help calculate scores that were actually correct, you are hired. Beth’s mom Nancy Doyle took home the first ever Dude award, stating “I’m glad I watched the Big Lebowski this morning”. Nobody F***s with Nancy.
With Capone in first, Bartlett in a surprising second, and Ladd Sr. in a strong third, the champions stumbled into the Gutterball Lounge to have their photos taken. When asked why he was making a sad face Bartlett stated “my daddy told me that second place is the first loser”. He was given a beer and told to take it like a real Bostonian would.. like the wicked cool kid he is.
Our mentor and idol, Tom B was invited but he had to catch an early flight to Pittsburgh and promised to try and make it next month. Nothing like having the GOAT on your cheering squad.
And how can we not mention we got a guy on the team who has run 17 Boston Marathons?
Cya next month!
EVENT WINNER: MARK CAPONE (148 AVG)
EVENT WINNER: SEAN BARTLETT (125 AVG)
EVENT WINNER: LADD CROOKER SR. (123 AVG)
DUDE AWARD WINNER: NANCY DOYLE (100)
GUTTER TRASH AWARD WINNER: KAITLIN BOWIE (17)
MOST STRIKES OVERALL: 9 (MARK CAPONE)
MOST SPARES OVERALL: 10 (MATT HUBBARD)
MOST GUTTERS OVERALL: 17 (KAITLIN BOWIE)
MOST STRIKES IN ONE GAME: 5 (CORY LODER)
MOST SPARES IN ONE GAME: 5 (NANCY DOYLE)
MOST GUTTERS IN ONE GAME: 7 (KAITLIN BOWIE)
HIGHEST SCRATCH SCORE IN ONE GAME: 162 (MARK CAPONE)
LOWEST SCRATCH SCORE IN ONE GAME: 59 (KAITLIN BOWIE)
EVENT MEDIAN SCORE: 100.67 AVG
MBA CHAPTER: BOSTON
EVENT DATE: 10/22/16
LOCATION: LOWELL BRUNSWICK