Oct 31, 2017
MBA CHAPTER - BOSTON, MA
With TEN new members and a Patriots game on at 4 PM, Brunswick Lanes were buzzing with excitement, fear, and way too much bragging. Crooker Matriarch Mary arrived with large ice tea in hand and said “someone has to stay sober and keep score”.
The Boston Chapter met for its 2nd annual official season opener and our new recruits were quickly introduced to the ways of the lanes: beer towers, shit talking, and crazy colored bowling socks. With six lanes full, the games began.
Game one started with the usual suspects neck and neck- Mark Capone ending with a 165 and Ladd Sr. with a 162. Joanna Doyle came in strong with a 144 and Sean Bartlett, who finally proved paying attention to the game and not the claw machine can end in positive results, ending the game with an excellent 174.
New member Brian Kellett, who was rumored to be running on two hours of sleep due to video game sleepover the night before, pictured above. Kellett was quoted later as saying “Screw Quake, I’m going to bowl professionally!”
Throughout game two, everyone overheard the familiar grumblings of Ladd Sr., whose infamous Duck Dynasty cooler broke upon arrival to the alley, “I bowl horrible when I drink too much!”. Someone get the man a new cooler.
With new member Sean M. bowling a 172, competition was stiff. We won’t mention how he forgot to fill out the score sheets. (You had one job!!!)
Game three highlighted the typical turn of events here in Boston: the braggers with high scores are doing better finishing their beers and the underdogs come through like champions. Ladd Crooker Jr with a 203, Kenny McCowan with a 189 and Cory Loder with a 152 – the boys were just getting warmed up.
New member Tim Doyle came in first with the most gutters with Alannah Joyner close behind. The crowd watched in anticipation wondering who would fill the lonely and empty shoes left behind by reigning gutter queen, ex-member (forever champion) Kaitlin Bowie.
No surprise that Mark Capone took first and behind him were Sean Bartlett and Ladd Crooker Jr., second to Mark much to his disdain. “I WILL beat him this year” Ladd yelled as Mark ran a victory lap throughout the building. The top three winners were the same proud top three winners from last year’s season open…let’s see if things change much this year here in Boston.
Oh yea, and Tom won again too.
Mar 22, 2017
MBA CHAPTER - BOSTON, MA
It had been a long journey since October, but a fun one. MBA Boston arrived at the lanes armed and ready for the playoffs- most of us with beer, Kaitlin Bowie with her five trashy ladies ready to cheer her on. With many spectators / “fans” in the crowd to cheer us on, we were ready to end the first season right and make our forefather proud.
With Chapter Leader, Maria Crooker .25 points away from clenching the 7th spot, her disappointed was quickly washed away with a glass of Pinot Noir and exchanged with excitement when 7th spot owner Alyssa D’urso stated she could not make playoffs. (Thanks girl!)
The games began with the race for the Mediocre Cup. Since Ladd Sr. and Maureen chose to take the Munson Cup route, there were only three competing for a prize that Beth Hubbard had already claimed ownership of. A standoff between Morgan O’Donnell, and Beth’s own mother, this was sure to get ugly. Bowling her best game ever, Beth did just that and claimed victory during Game 1. Bowling a 185, this was the least mediocre attempt we had seen yet out of this bowler.
There’s a legend about a bet made one spring morning on a golf course. Armed with white Russians (hopefully dairy free), Ladd Jr. told Mark Capone “one day I will beat you at something”. As the bottom 12 vied for the coveted 8th seed, the crowd was roaring as Ladd Jr. went on to bowl an impressive score of 172 to win a spot in the final games. Turning around with the smell of victory close he pointed at his target and stated “your mine Capone”. With an extra hand to help him out, he was confident he could win.
Dubbed the mother of all friends, Mary Crooker went to the concession stand and bought popcorn for all that were watching, this was going to get good.
The Munson Cup began. Top 8: Mark Capone, Ladd Crooker Sr., Cory Loder, Kenny McCowan, Maureen Dunton, Sean Bartlett, Maria Crooker, Ladd Crooker Jr.
With Maria bowling her worst games ever, the stage was set for the usual good bowlers to strut their stuff. With nothing unusual to point out aside from the amount of empty pitchers on the tables, Capone went on to take it home. Unfortunately, dreams did not come true for young Ladd during MBA playoffs and just like our favorite childhood stories, sometimes a series of unfortunate events make for an unjust ending. Capone went on to win Best Overall, Most Spares and the Munson Cup. Ladd Crooker Jr. unexpectedly was awarded Most Mediocre.
Ladd Sr. came out on top with Most Strikes and everyone went home drunk.
What a great year we had! Thanks to all the bowlers who came out and made it so much fun!
See you next season!
Feb 3, 2017
MBA CHAPTER- BOSTON, MA
What a terrible event for someone with a severe milk allergy. Aside from Ladd Jr., this a great excuse for some people to drink lots of vodka on a Sunday. A Sunday where the GOAT himself was expected to throw his best game, shortly after MBA Boston’s event was expected to end. What a wonderful pre-game it was.
The event started unusually with Cory Loder showing up BEFORE anyone else, making it his first early arrival to an event. With MBA’s first full event since its’ inception, the lanes were buzzing with excitement, and curiosity over the attention the giant trophy would bring us at the lanes.
With 19 people determined to win and one determined to continue her losing streak, the lanes filled up with an eclectic mix of teams. Whisperings, payoffs, and bets were heard coming from many of the players. Kaitlin Bowie arrived and yelled to everyone “Look what I brought! My cheering squad!”, and proceeded to pull all of her trashy ladies out of her bag.
The ladies did their job (get it?) and cheered Kaitlin on as she went to bowl her best game yet, but still racked up the most gutters.
The big surprise of the afternoon was lane #39 with Matt, Sean, Leigh, and Loder all bowling a very fantastic game, the lane producing the winning team of the event. Sean was heard being told by fiancé Alyssa that, “You CANNOT put that anywhere in our new addition”, to which Sean replied “Fine, can I at least have some quarters for the claw machine?”. Lucky for Alyssa, she walked out with an Emoji pillow, hopefully for the new addition.
Ladd Sr. worked to build himself back up, bowling a higher average than the past two events, hoping to place in the finals. Competition will be stiff with the MBA’s star bowler, Maureen, making it a tough finale already. Marathon man Kenny McCowan chose his favorite partner, but with his sights set on another prize, he didn’t do his best. (Despite skipping another bowling tournament for this one).
Chapter leader Maria bowled her worst game yet, younger brother Ladd heard heckling her “WHAT ARE YA..HUNGOVA?!” every time she went up to bowl. He’s lucky she didn’t throw milk at him.
Beth Hubbard drank her usual amount of whiskey and proceeded to help tally up the scores (correctly) and was extremely loud and shouted “ITS ME” when she realized she had finally, after much complaining, won her first dude award.
The MBA Boston Chapter had a great time and we all rallied back at the Capone family house to eat a ton of food, make fun of each other’s poor bowling skills, and watch our main man Tom bring us one step closer to victory.
This Chapter Leader is rounding up a strong team in hopes that Punk (Drunk) Rock Bowling NJ is announced soon, celebrating the one-year anniversary of a truly magical relationship formed at a bowling alley in New Jersey. Dan, Hillary, I am not picky about gifts but I would ignore the fact that paper giving is tradition for the first year.
Anyways, we will see you all next month for our final regular season game of the year!!! Cheers!
EVENT WINNER: Team Kick Ass and Take Names (136.75 Avg.)
EVENT WINNER: xxxxx
EVENT WINNER: xxxxx
DUDE AWARD WINNER: B. Hubbard
GUTTER TRASH AWARD WINNER: K. Bowie
MOST STRIKES OVERALL: 5 (S. Bartlett & M.Dunton)
MOST SPARES OVERALL: 11 (M. Capone)
MOST GUTTERS OVERALL: 14 (K. Bowie)
MOST STRIKES IN ONE GAME: 3 (Multiple)
MOST SPARES IN ONE GAME: 7 (M.Capone)
MOST GUTTERS IN ONE GAME: 9 (K. Bowie)
HIGHEST SCRATCH SCORE IN ONE GAME: 163 (M. Dunton)
LOWEST SCRATCH SCORE IN ONE GAME: 53 (L. Mullen)
EVENT MEDIAN SCORE: 122
MBA CHAPTER: Boston
EVENT DATE: 1/22/17
LOCATION: Brunswick Lowell
Jan 3, 2017
Wrap Up: Boston's Great Divide brings unexpected results, the usual cockiness and possibly the best event yet
MBA CHAPTER - BOSTON, MA
First things first, some congratulations are in order: Congratulations to team member Cory Loder for making it to 30 years old and for celebrating your 30th birthday by bowling with this fantastic league of ours. Second, a HUGE congratulations to team members Derek Sorenson and Kaitlin Bowie for getting ENGAGED! We love you both!
Now, let’s get down to business. Upon arrival to the lanes Chapter Leader Maria Crooker noticed that Ladd Crooker Sr., Ladd Crooker Jr., and Kenny McCowan had arrived early to practice. Suspicious. Ladd Sr. said it was to straighten out his back while Ladd Jr. admitted it was because he wanted to beat Capone.
The Great Divide paired the best bowler with the worst bowler and so forth. Well, we knew that we were in for trouble when Mark Capone and Ladd Crooker Jr. were paired together as team. Armed with fairly large handicaps and a tower of beer, these two were a force to be reckoned with. (See above: the matching socks).
Ladd Crooker Sr., in a struggle to clench first was paired with the league’s worst bowler as far as gutter balls go. He embraced the challenge and became a true inspiration to Kaitlin, telling her “You can do it! Stop throwing gutter balls!”. Kaitlin argued with Chapter Leader Maria Crooker because she did not want to use her allowed bumpers stating, “I want all five of those ladies on my shelf!”, referring to the gutter trash awards she had already assumed she would win. Later on when asked about his unusually mediocre performance Ladd Sr. stated it had nothing to do with Kaitlin but a lot to do with all the beer he drank.
Jetlagged from a quick trip to Chicago to see the league’s favorite band, Maria Crooker, Beth Hubbard, and Matt Hubbard were eager to set exhaustion aside as competition grew. Crooker and B. Hubbard were both determined to win this event with Crooker telling partner Cory Loder, “I don’t care if it’s your birthday, I want to win!”. Mother/daughter team Doyle/Hubbard had a chance to up their scores and make MBA history, but that was before a few Jim Beams…..
Missing a few teammates this week made for an interesting and intimate event. The tension was high as Maria Crooker explained to all bowlers that “we are getting down to the wire and it is time to do the best you can do or be the most mediocre you have ever been….playoffs are coming”.
Round one ended with a close race between Crooker/Capone and Crooker/Loder and with McCowan/Zeller heating up the lanes….
Round two began with large egos and a lot of loud boasting as Capone/Crooker bowled an extremely impressive game and the liquor caught up with the rest of us. Joanna Doyle has officially been dubbed “second game queen” due to her impressive way of increasing her score by the second game with old fashioned dedication and determination.
Impressive game bowled by Maureen Dunton, bumping her to second in the league. Kenny McCowan had the highest overall score and this Chapter Leader predicts a tough fight for first, come playoffs.
Big surprise Crooker/Capone happily took first with a combined average of 141.75. I am not even going to give them any more attention in this write up.
Kaitlin, in case you were wondering, got her wish and won her third trashy lady. Maria Crooker was informed shortly after this event by Association Commissioner Extraordinaire, Dan, that Bowie is tied for the record of most gutter balls thrown ever in MBA history.
The surprise of the day was Ladd Crooker Sr. who unfortunately did not reap the benefits of Kaitlin’s bumpers. The biggest upset of the game! Typically in the top 3 of the league, Ladd was awarded most Mediocre of the event. He exited quickly with his head hung low. Not to mention, Ladd Crooker Jr. had to drive him home, most likely boasting about his victory.
We’ll see everyone next month…. Hopefully the alley is stocked up on vodka and milk.
EVENT WINNER: MARK CAPONE (143.5 AVG)
EVENT WINNER: LADD CROOKER JR. (140.5 AVG)
DUDE AWARD WINNER: LADD CROOKER SR.
GUTTER TRASH AWARD WINNER: KAITLIN BOWIE
MOST STRIKES OVERALL: 6 (K. MCCOWAN & M. DUNTON)
MOST SPARES OVERALL: 6 (K. MCCOWAN, M.DUNTON, C.LODER, N. DOYLE, M.CAPONE)
MOST GUTTERS OVERALL: 13 (K. BOWIE)
MOST STRIKES IN ONE GAME: 3 (K. MCCOWAN, M.DUNTON, L. CROOKER JR.)
MOST SPARES IN ONE GAME: 5 (C. LODER)
MOST GUTTERS IN ONE GAME: 7 (K. BOWIE)
HIGHEST SCRATCH SCORE IN ONE GAME: 154 (C. LODER)
LOWEST SCRATCH SCORE IN ONE GAME: 43 (K. BOWIE)
EVENT MEDIAN SCORE: 115
MBA CHAPTER: BOSTON
EVENT DATE: 12/14/16
Dec 6, 2016
MBA CHAPTER - BOSTON, MA
As the Boston Chapter geared up for their second big event, excitement was doubled as Brunswick Bowling accepted us an official league and promised us $2 beers every time we bowled.
Competition was amping up and Mr. 4th place himself, Cory Loder, even showed up on time (much to the dismay of those who bet their beer money on him being later than the previous month). Despite our longing for PBR, we grabbed our two-dollar Miller Lites and took advantage of our 15 minute warm up.
As the first round began, tensions grew high while the coveted Golden Colt cast a glittery glow among the bowlers. Our reigning gutter queen was questioned more than once if she was throwing gutter balls on purpose to which she replied “I’d love to add to my collection, but I just suck”. The first round showed a close race for first between Cory Loder and Kenny McCowan. Between turns Ladd Crooker Sr. was seen heckling the waitress for a Michelob Ultra- only later to have found out it was just a cover, as he had brought along his trusty Duck Dynasty cooler.
Round two began with the breakup of an argument over the Golden Colt and the hot pink #13 ball. Matt Hubbard was close to disqualification because it just isn’t fair to pull another guys hair.
The highlight of the event was the major curve ball thrown, with Beth Hubbard bowling a fine, fine game. Whether it was the red wine or the anticipation or a golden 40 sitting atop her Christmas tree, she was seen exclaiming “WHO CARE I’M DRUNK”. With a 183, Beth came out on top with the highest scratch score. Chapter leader Maria Crooker was seen wiping her brow….who would help her add up all the scores? Ladd Sr. made a quick comeback, with almost a 30 pin increase, three strikes and a spare, the game was heating up pretty quick.
While Beth Hubbard helped to add the scores up, we swear to you that they are correct, legitimate, and no red wine was spilled during the process.
Morgan O’Donnell won The Dude Award, dubbed Modest Morgan, because she had to be convinced to take the trophy. She only agreed to take a photo if her best buds were in it with her and said “I just came here to have a good time”. We should all take a page out of Morgan’s positive attitude book!
Big surprise, Kaitlin Bowie went home with another gutter trash award to add to her collection. She asked if she could use the alligator slide instead of the bumpers when she redeems the award. What does the MBA Commissioner think about that one?
Our marathon man, Kenny McCowan was crowned WINNER of the event, beating Ladd Sr. by ONE POINT!!! We checked and doubled check and handed Kenny the well-deserve trophy. When asked him how he felt, he said “Almost as good as mile 26.2, I can’t wait to show my mom”.
MBA Boston truly shone this month and had a blast. We can’t wait until next month, there were some whisperings about ugly sweater and light up bowling shoes….we shall see.
I leave you with this:
How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding?
He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt
Cya next month!
EVENT WINNER: KENNY MCCOWAN (151 AVG)
DUDE AWARD WINNER: MORGAN O’DONNELL (117.5 AVG)
GUTTER TRASH AWARD WINNER: KAITLIN BOWIE (18)
MOST STRIKES OVERALL: L. CROOKER SR. & M.DUNTON (5)
MOST SPARES OVERALL: S. KUHL (13)
MOST GUTTERS OVERALL: K. MOSELEY (13)
MOST STRIKES IN ONE GAME: 3 (MULTIPLE)
MOST SPARES IN ONE GAME: 5 (L. CROOKER SR.)
MOST GUTTERS IN ONE GAME: 10 (K. BOWIE)
HIGHEST SCRATCH SCORE IN ONE GAME: 183 (B. HUBBARD)
LOWEST SCRATCH SCORE IN ONE GAME: 78 (K. BOWIE)
EVENT MEDIAN SCORE:116
MBA CHAPTER: BOSTON
EVENT DATE: 11/13/2016
LOCATION: BRUNSWICK BOWL LOWELL
Oct 30, 2016
MBA CHAPTER- BOSTON, MA
As new and exciting things like mediocre bowling bring together friends old and new, Kirsten Zeller is still catching Z’s wherever she can, as she is found napping in her car an hour before the games begin.
The first Sweetness Open for the Boston Chapter truly showed off the crowd’s beer drinking skills and short attention span (see: giant claw machine). Boston had some big shoes to fill as the second official chapter in the infamous Mediocre Bowling Association and Chapter Leader Maria Crooker was seen begging anyone who would listen to give her a leopard print bowling ball for Christmas stating, “I want to be just like Hillary!”.
With 19 players and 1 true champion who played one game before heading to work, the lanes were filled with laughter, heckling, and some interesting bowling styles. Game one began with a $5 bet between Beth Hubbard and Ladd Crooker Jr. that Beth couldn’t get her ball to go through two pins, as opposed to knocking them over. Truly mediocre.
Mark Capone, Ladd Crooker Sr., and Kenny McCowan were heard boasting about their anticipated strikes and wins with Capone coming out on top with a 142 in game one. With the trashy lady cheering us on, some bowlers were eager to take her home. Kaitlin Bowie embraced her likely title as Gutter Trash bravely as she went on to throw 17 gutter balls, becoming MBA Boston’s first Gutter Trash Award winner.
Game two went on to show Sean Bartlett’s admiration for his new fiancé, Alyssa D’urso by missing his turn (more than once) to win her a prize from the gutter claw machine. At one point when Bartlett was nowhere to be found, Alyssa was overheard saying “I gave him quarters to go play in the arcade like a good little boy”.
Game three started with Cory Loder finally catching up, since he was late as usual to the lanes. League pool is at $250 and rising for the person with the average of minutes he is late this season. Mediocre betting is also our specialty. Loder came in a close fourth, too little too late.
A big shout out to Beth Hubbard for staying sober enough to help calculate scores that were actually correct, you are hired. Beth’s mom Nancy Doyle took home the first ever Dude award, stating “I’m glad I watched the Big Lebowski this morning”. Nobody F***s with Nancy.
With Capone in first, Bartlett in a surprising second, and Ladd Sr. in a strong third, the champions stumbled into the Gutterball Lounge to have their photos taken. When asked why he was making a sad face Bartlett stated “my daddy told me that second place is the first loser”. He was given a beer and told to take it like a real Bostonian would.. like the wicked cool kid he is.
Our mentor and idol, Tom B was invited but he had to catch an early flight to Pittsburgh and promised to try and make it next month. Nothing like having the GOAT on your cheering squad.
And how can we not mention we got a guy on the team who has run 17 Boston Marathons?
Cya next month!
EVENT WINNER: MARK CAPONE (148 AVG)
EVENT WINNER: SEAN BARTLETT (125 AVG)
EVENT WINNER: LADD CROOKER SR. (123 AVG)
DUDE AWARD WINNER: NANCY DOYLE (100)
GUTTER TRASH AWARD WINNER: KAITLIN BOWIE (17)
MOST STRIKES OVERALL: 9 (MARK CAPONE)
MOST SPARES OVERALL: 10 (MATT HUBBARD)
MOST GUTTERS OVERALL: 17 (KAITLIN BOWIE)
MOST STRIKES IN ONE GAME: 5 (CORY LODER)
MOST SPARES IN ONE GAME: 5 (NANCY DOYLE)
MOST GUTTERS IN ONE GAME: 7 (KAITLIN BOWIE)
HIGHEST SCRATCH SCORE IN ONE GAME: 162 (MARK CAPONE)
LOWEST SCRATCH SCORE IN ONE GAME: 59 (KAITLIN BOWIE)
EVENT MEDIAN SCORE: 100.67 AVG
MBA CHAPTER: BOSTON
EVENT DATE: 10/22/16
LOCATION: LOWELL BRUNSWICK