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Dec 12, 2012

MBA Confronts WWE on Event Scheduling Issues

-MBA Headquarters, New York, NY

Mediocre Bowling Association CEO/Staten Island Chapter Leader Dan Derwin has "had enough" of the World Westling Entertainment's event scheduling, which has conflicted on numerous occasions with MBA tournaments.

During the SI Chapter's "Knock'Em Back Masters" in November, four members had to get their own lane to ensure they were finished in time to get home for the "WWE Survivor Series". Now with the MBA's third event, The Great Divide, taking place on December 16th, the WWE has scheduled their annual "Tables, Ladders, & Chairs" match at the nearby Barclay's Center in Brooklyn, NY the same day.

"If I were a paranoid man, I'd think this was personal." Mr. Derwin was quoted as saying to the press "The stress of the last event is something no one wants to revisit." 

World Wrestling Entertainment HQ, or as like the MBA likes to refer them, "Anti-Bowling Thugs"

The tension in the air was thick during the second game of the Knock'Em Back Masters, you could see the sweat beads begin to form on the forehead of member #19 Todd Currier. "I was trying to figure out when it would be the best time to leave. If we were going to finish bowling, get on the Wendy's drive-thru line, and make it back home, we were going to have to get moving." said Mr. Currier via e-mail (a medium he claims is still a "foreign concept")

Mike Cruz, Keith Parascandola, and Heather O'Shea were also in the "WWE lane" looking to get home ASAP.

Todd Currier and company impatiently wait in a drive-thru line, hoping to make it back home in time for the WWE Survivor Series following the 2012 Knock'Em Back Masters - they left without food, sources say.

With concern to the December 16th event, these same Chapter members, are trying to get tickets for the "TLC" match, which has Mr. Derwin up in arms. "I don't know if anybody knows the inside scoop, but wrestling is fantasy" he said via telephone interview. "They almost had me for a minute, but there's no way that Ted Dibiase was actually a Million Dollar Man." 

Multiple sources also confirm that Mr. Parascandola tried to recruit Mr. Derwin as a WWE fan, even going so far as bringing him to a wrestling event at Staten Island's Funstation USA, where he won 78 tickets in one round of Skee Ball before watching a moderately impressive showing of Warriors of Wrestling. "It was pretty good...but not better than bowling."

Meanwhile, Mr. Currier lent Mr. Derwin the CM Punk Documentary "Best In The World" in order to sway him into joining the WWE revolution. By accidentally forgetting to include Disc 1, he cemented a reputation for wrestling fans as being "unreliable and phony".

Mediocre Bowling Association officials have sent a polite letter, addressed personally to WWE CEO Vince McMahon, with a schedule of the MBA season asking to work their wrestling calendar around future prestigious bowling events. Mr. McMahon has yet to respond.

Member #7 Keith Parascandola in casual dress.