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Oct 31, 2013

Wrap-Up: Sweet Results For Some at The Sweetness Open

Staten Island, NY

What a difference a year makes!

The second season for the Staten Island Chapter of the Mediocre Bowling Association previewed last month during the MBA’s Chapter Invitational, where old and new members alike came to mingle, shake off the cobwebs and try to take home a piece of MBA history. Members who had attended every event last season competed for The Punctual Pumpkin Award in a game that would foreshadow the start of the 2013-14 MBA season.

Sean Kuhl, who couldn't lie, cheat or steal his way to the top last year walked away from that event with the Pumpkin for highest score among the qualified few.

"I bowled a 209 last season and still couldn't fucking win anything." Kuhl said over a cup of hot cocoa while he buffed his ball. "This year I'm not taking a back seat to anyone."

And he wasn’t kidding. In the first game of The Sweetness Open, Mr. Kuhl bowled an already impressive 142 before taking his game up to the next level with a 186 in the next game.

“I thought this league was supposed to be for Mediocre players?” muttered member Kevin Rogers after he finished his first game with a 68. “I better step it up.”

New members basked in the glow of their rookie season. Kerry McKeever, with daughter Sadie in tow, enjoyed the sights, foul language, and competitive edge the MBA showed. "My kid just danced with Keith the whole time while Tom farted and drank," she told the league office via email "I didn't bowl too bad either." referring to her 99.3 average for the night.

As the night progressed, the event's leaders began to emerge; and they weren't who you’d assume based on last season’s stats. "I can't believe my banner is hanging up. I've completely shit the bed," said Mike Calascibetta, the reigning chapter champion after his first game scored an impressively mediocre 84. "Well, I started off slow last year too, so fuck off."

Mike Dillon and Leigh Janicki, who both took home medals during The Sweetness Open last season bowled respectable averages for the night, but the competition was too fierce this year and they left the lanes empty handed, shells of their former selves.

A nail biting 3-way battle between ensued between a confident Sean Kuhl, a determined Justin Krstinic, and Chapter Leader Dan Derwin. "All I do is buy and make these trophies, I want one goddamit!" several bystanders overheard Derwin comment while numbers were being crunched after the event.

In the final frames, Krstinic, with the gleam of concentration in his eyes took the advantage and edged Derwin out of second place by only 3/10ths of a point.

First place? Mr. Sean Kuhl whose third game at 145 cemented his position in first place for the evening with an average of 157.6 and made him the player to beat this season. "This is going right next to my Punctual Pumpkin,” he told league officials via FaceTime “and don’t worry, there’s plenty of space on my shelf for more."

Other notables for the evening included:

*Last year's 1st place winner Michael Cruz was nowhere to be found at the time of the first pin drop. The last anyone heard from him, he was cursing about the New York Jets via Facebook. He even claimed in the days prior to The Sweetness that he took off from work just for the event. At press time, he could not be reached for comment.

*Karen Karyczak garnered respect for taking home this event's The Gutter Trash Award. Jen Grunwald, who was next in line for the Award, began casting spurious accusations that Karen had others throwing her ball for her, thus resulting in the impressive 16 gutter balls by the event's end. Since no Chapter or MBA officials witnessed anyone throwing for Mrs. Karyczak, the victory stood, but Jen Grunwald promised revenge at the next event. "I'll throw the fucking game if I have to, that trophy is mine," Ms. Grunwald was overheard saying in the parking lot.

*Returning members finally got their chance to see the rookie's in action and the competition looks fierce! New members Geoff Celis and Jess Winder looked especially intimidating walking away from the event with a 143.6 and 111.6 average respectively - giving returning members a run for their money and already looking good for the newest trophy added to the MBA's year end give-away: The Rookie of the Year Award. We'll keep you updated throughout the season on the status of the trophies contenders.

CommentsCategories MBA Staten Island, NY