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Nov 24, 2013

Wrap Up: Calascibetta Claims League's First "Repeat Champion" Title With Win at Masters

The Mediocre Bowling Association, for the first time, has a two-time champion.

The Staten Island Chapter’s 2013 Knock’Em Back Masters kicked off for the second time on a cloudy November Sunday, with a mix of members who consider themselves “Grizzled Veterans’ of this tournament, and a group of new members not knowing what the hell “The Golden Colt” even was. “I thought somebody had simply left a bottle of Colt 45 on the bar,” a confused Geoff Celis told the local beat writers at the Showplace Bar. “It looks like a used bottle that was lined with gold glitter, and glued to a wooden base.” John Esposito chimed in. 

The trophy was making its second appearance, after bowing to the clutches of Mike Calascibetta, last November’s champion.

For the first time in league history, handicaps were introduced, using scores accumulated from last month’s Sweetness Open. With this leg up, some of the chapter’s more “impaired" bowlers would now be able to compete with several of the league’s upper echelon. “I’ve been championing this idea since day one,” claimed Todd Currier, who used Skype from his booth at The Outback Steakhouse to talk to an MBA media official. “I’ll be happy to abuse it.”

With the tournament underway and handicaps in the system, the bowlers became focused on the competition. During Game 1, all of the attention was on Lane 26. Maggi Weaver and “Brown” Sara Frank were having career nights, ending their games with 4 strikes and 3 strikes respectively. “I can’t believe it! I don’t know how it happened because I'm bombed.” Ms. Frank told us, finishing the game with an all time best 182 (HC). “I'm not as drunk, but I’m still amazed!” Maggi yelled over Sara’s shoulder, with a 162 (HC) final.

As Game 2 started, all the talk was about the more than likely emergence of a new Masters’ champion. Unprecidented scores by previously overlooked players, began to emerge. Ryan Petersen with a 154.5 and Keith Paras with a 153.5 had brief hopes to take home the Colt and Sean Kuhl, who had a lukewarm first game, by HIS standards this season, began to dominate again - striking fear that he would come in first place for the 3rd time consecutively this season with his final average of 158. But on the slowest lane, 22, Mike Calascibetta quietly rediscovered his championship form. With zero fanfare and flying under the radar, he bowled a 150 & 189 (169.5 AVG) to take home his second consecutive Big Lebrewski Trophy. To a smattering of boos, he shook the Chapter Leader’s hand and accepted his prize with a more confident face, than a surprised one. “No one is happy about this but me, I know.” said Mike as he finished his Perrier water. “But as long as I’m qualified to be in this league, I’ll never apologize.”

On this, a career night for some, those who are willing to dare must knock this man from the perch high above their shoulders, but with the addition of handicaps this year, the competition is looking fierce!

Other notables for the evening included:

*Ryan Petersen and Heather Paras, among others, had career nights, with a 177 (192 HC) and a 92 (130 HC) respectively. When asked by the MBA media via telephone whether or not these feats can be repeated, Ryan asked “Who is this?” Mrs. Paras, when asked about her steady improvement and what it means to her future of Gutter Trash Awards, she replied “I have 4 of them already from last year. Although I would love another, I would take one of the main event trophies any day.”

*On the domestic violence front, Mark Eadicicco was overheard yelling at Sara Frank about falling apart in the second game. With a 182 start, she could have secured the first Big Lebrewski of her career. “I told her to ‘just win it' so I could walk by it every morning and pretend that it’s mine,” Mark told us while holding Ms. Frank’s wrist. “She fucking blew it!”

*Liz Calascibetta walked away with this months gutter Trash Award, which meant for the first time ever both trophies will live in the same household. "I was hoping it would be me and Heather getting the honors this month, but we really shit the bed," Keith Parascandola later stated.

CommentsCategories MBA Staten Island, NY