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Jan 19, 2015

Press Release: MBA Weighs In On "GutterGate"

MBA HEADQUARTERS – NEW YORK, NY

 Mediocre Bowling Association officials were made aware of a situation that occurred during an event held yesterday by the league’s Staten Island chapter.

 On Sunday January 18th 2015, at the Staten Island Caucasian Open tournament, chapter leader Dan Derwin proceeded with a streamlined scoring technique which was used for the first time after being approved by the league sanctioned Mediocre Stats Bureau (M.S.B.) Team captains were given lane score sheets to keep tabs on their respective teammates' progress throughout the tournament. This included, but wasn’t limited to, gutters per game and total gutters.

 At approximately 7:30pm, Lane 14’s captain and MBA member #45 Kevin Rogers handed in his team’s score sheet in which had been tallied by himself. While some of the player’s total gutters were only off by 1 or 2, MBA member #41 John Esposito had only been charged 3 gutters when he in fact had thrown 11. By the time the league had discovered the error the following day, the Gutter Trash Award in which he would have been rewarded for throwing the highest of the tournament, was instead handed out to MBA member #67 Phil Cadaver for throwing 8 gutters, which had been the highest amount tallied by the conclusion of the tournament.

John Esposito, who clearly kicked off his Caucasian Open with 6 straight gutters, would only be charged for 3 total after two games. He would finish with 11. Either his captain was trying to do him a favor or didn't want his teammate getting a trophy if the rest of them couldn't have one.

 According to MBA league rule 47.4.3B which clearly states “No trophy awarded, even erroneously, shall be given back to the league or to it’s rightful owner once the clock strikes 12:01am of the day following the trophy presentation, UNLESS previously stated by the league that the trophy is normally given back IE: Munson Cup, White Russian Trophy.”

 While the league continues to monitor it’s new scoring methods while simultaneously taking into consideration that this is Rogers’ first league infraction, the Mediocre Bowling Association has decided to fine Kevin Rogers $0.04 and also suspend him for 33 days. Rogers would next be eligible to participate on Sunday February 22nd 2015 at the Theodore Donald Kerabatsos Memorial Tournament at Showplace Bowling Alley.

 All money will be donated to the MBA Player’s Emergency Beer Fund

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