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Oct 5, 2015

Wrap Up: Celis Celebrated, Rogers Snags Record Attendance


“When you see your banner raised to the ceiling of a dive bar, the feeling in your heart is indescribable.” - Geoff Celis, 14-15 Munson Cup Champion and internet sensation after garnering over 18 likes on this @thembastinks Instagram post

Nothing else mattered tonight. Geoff Celis was celebrated, booed, and the focal point for the Staten Island Chapter of the Mediocre Bowling Association. This annual night in September officially closes the book on the season that once was. Ahead, is the chance to step on a few heads and pile up the hardware. “Nothing will make me happier than making every other bowler feel like shit.” said Joe Tavalare, Rookie of the Year winner and Munson Cup semi-finalist for the 14-15 season.

"I've pretty much never been happy, but now that I'm engaged and bowling is back...I wonder if this is what it feels like" - Ryan Petersen, MBA Member since 2012

New members and old alike showed up to strut their stuff and scope out the competition

The following day, members took part in the 2015 MBA Chapter Invitational. This was an event for most players to shake the cobwebs off their bowling bags and bowling arms. For the select few who attended all 5 regular season events the previous year, they had a chance to take home the season’s first prestigious award, a new addition to the MBA Trophy roster. The Punctual Pumpkin was no more, replaced by “The Record Player”. “I’d love to listen to it, but it’s just a trophy.” said William Hammill, bowling and vinyl enthusiast who came to observe the opening day festivities.

Justin Krstinic makes up for lost time on the lanes by simultaneously psyching out 3 opponents at the same time. 

This event was special for another reason. After 3 seasons at Showplace Bowling & Entertainment, the MBA’s Staten Island Chapter decided it was time to move on. Rab’s Country Lanes opened their doors to the league with full aplomb. Highly technological screens displaying the MBA logos and signs of welcome, could be seen across the alley. “I saw a sandwich in the bar, but we couldn't tell if it was for us or for regular customers watching the NFL.” Bari Reiter told the press. Witnesses say that the sandwich was delicious.

Once the fanfare ended, the bowling was underway. The pre-seasoners enjoyed the exhibition while the players who qualified for the Chapter Invitational came out with a bang in Game 1. MBA Sophmore Matt Wilson was looking to run away with an early lead in Game 1 with 5 strikes and a score of 152. “I was so happy, but I had a feeling it wasn't going to hold up.” he said before using his 6 gigs the night before as an excuse. He was right. In Game 2, the only players who mattered were Jessica Kuhl and Kevin Rogers. Although Rogers acted surprised, he had already done the math realizing he had won by 0.5 points,146.5 to 146. “I’m sick” said Kuhl, who won this event a year ago. “My husband* is NOT going to be happy the Kuhl house has let this year’s trophy get away.”

*Sean Kuhl won this event in its inaugural season, 2 years ago.

"Soon" - Dave Derwin

One of the hardest events to win, due to both the need to qualify by attendance and then dominate on the lanes, it is always an exciting way to start the MBA Season. We’ll see who will qualify for next years tournament starting with October’s Sweetness Open. See everybody on the 18th! 

Notables for this event include:

*After a lengthy absence, Mike Dillon looked reborn with two bowling balls in tow as well as the final scores of 162 and 155, which would have won him the title had he attended all 5 regular season events. The two-time Munson Cup finalist, is seeking his first trophy since captaining the 2013 Caucasian Open champs, Team Hard Drugs. “I’m ready to fuck things up,” he said while looking at #CatsofInstagram on his phone.

*Kevin Rogers treated his Record of the Year Award to Denino’s Brick Oven Pizza after the event. Witnesses say the trophy ordered a Chicken Roll and Mozzarella Sticks. Witnesses also say that Kevin was seen having a heated conversation with the trophy in the Ralph’s Ices line, as well. More on this story when we get additional information on what flavors they ordered.

* Justin Krstinic, who qualified for the Invitational, was running extremely late to the event. League officials allowed him to jump in when he arrived in the 8th frame of Game 1. He then proceeded to throw 4 strikes in his first 6 frames. He wouldn't be able to sustain his PCP addict-like pace. He would finish Game 2 with the score of 111. “I got too excited and blew it,” he said. “I won’t make the same mistake next month. Believe it.”