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Oct 29, 2015

Wrap Up: Celis Finishes on Top, Again; Rookies Dominate Sweetness Open


On a beautiful autumn afternoon, 37 members of the Staten Island chapter kicked off it’s regular season for the first time at Rab’s Country Lanes. In one of the most attended games in MBA history, the usual madness would take place between old and new members alike. With a brief holding up of his bowling ball with one hand to a rousing ovation, chapter leader Dan Derwin lead the way with a 7 on his first throw. “Of course I don’t get a strike.” he would say to the press after the event.

Commissioner, Chapter Leader and all-around Gentlemen, Daniel Derwin
celebrates his first throw of the season

Game 1, which ends up being the strongest for most, came and went with not much to talk about. Keith Paras, who is recovering from a paralyzing summer injury in which his ankle went through a cement floor, bowled the poorest game of his career with a 72. “ The only thing that kept me going was my ability to limp.” Paras said in front of his visibly upset wife. “I ended up scoring a 107 and 123 to right the ship afterwards, so I’ll sleep tonight.”

Keith "Limpsy" Paras shakes it off 

Game 2 had six people bowling in 130’s, including new members Christine Beaton, Gabriel Reiter, and James Ciccone. “If I knew the league would be this easy, I wouldn’t have even practiced.” Beaton said while sketching her Munson Cup banner on the back of a lotto ticket. “I’ll see you guys at Pugs next September.” League Official, Mark Eadicicco would score the highest in Game 2 with a 141.

Game 3’s are usually where attention spans wane, and inebriation kicks in. With only a few bowlers scoring pretty high, the Sweetness Open’s contenders began to emerge. Reigning Munson Cup champion Geoff Celis would leave the competition in the dust with a 149 event average, taking home the 1st place medal. Rookie James Ciccone would take home the 2nd place medal in his MBA debut. “I can’t believe it!” Ciccone said as he slipped into his lucky New York Mets jacket. “It’s the jacket.” he insisted. Jessica Kuhl, while excited to take home her first career Sweetness medal, was partially devastated. For the second event in a row, she would finish .6 points behind another player. In last month’s Chapter Invitational, she lost by .6 points to Kevin Rogers. Today, it would be to Ciccone with a 134.6 to 134. “Next time, I’ll have somebody round up my score.” Kuhl would say publicly in a foolish manner. The MBA has officially placed her on the known offenders list.

Reigning Champion, Geoff Celis finishes on top in the first game of
the 2015-16 season, celebrates with donuts

Other notables for the evening include:

*Rookie Diane Lawler would end up taking home her first career MBA trophy, the Dude Award, with an event average of 99. The Dude Award is handed out the player who finishes closest to the event’s median score without going over ala Price is Right rules. “Now that I qualify for the Mediocre Cup Finals in March, I can relax.” Lawler said via text. “Actually, no I can’t. I left without my trophy!”

*Heather O’Shea would take home her 7th career Gutter Trash Award. O’Shea doesn’t seem to be slowing down any time soon. She’ll be using bumpers for one game in next month’s Knock’em Back Masters, so it might be possible to stay a step ahead if you’re a gutter throwing specialist. “It’s a challenge but I think I can I still get a gutter, even with bumpers.” O’shea said.

*Mike Calascibetta, who is known to have trouble with the Sweetness Open, committed the first foul of his career during the 5th frame of Game 2. “You’ll never see that again, or at least until the next event.” he vented to the bartender. Speaking of “fowls,” Jen Grunwald threw the first turkey of her career during Game 2. “You’ll never see that again, or at least…nah that’s it”. Speaking of turkeys, with Thanksgiving coming next month, look no further than the parking spaces around Rabs, which was overflowing with the critters. George Karyczak could be spotted firing up the barbecue on the sidewalk next to Rab’s; the MBA vegan community could not be reached for comment.