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Feb 1, 2017

League Officially Announces Its Largest Competition Yet: The MBA World Tour


 FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: The Mediocre Bowling Association in conjunction with its three (drunken) functioning chapters are proud to announce a major conspiring of bad bowling competitions on the world stage. On Saturday April 22nd, 2017, Earth Day, all members of the Association are welcome to participate in the league’s first MBA World Tour at Rab’s Country Lanes in Staten Island, NY.

 “We always said that once we had more than one chapter, we would have a competition that would pit them against each other.” MBA CEO Dan Derwin told the press while inside of Fortune Cookie’s Restaurant. “It took 5 seasons for it to come to fruition, but here we are.”

 Moments before the announcement

While chapters will be celebrating their best respective players in the March playoffs, the league felt they could do one better and have players from all over finally meet and defeat the bowlers they’ve only read about online.


The debut of the completely finished and beautiful MBA World Tour logo

While specifics on the exact competitions while be announced shortly, here is what the league is ready to announce today:


  • THE DATE AND LOCATION – Pretty obvious. We figure the more notice, the better. Especially for those who’d be traveling out of town for it.


  • THIS EVENT WILL BE A BONUS TO THE REGULAR SEASON – While your membership covers the 1 preseason event, 5 regular season events, and the playoffs in March, the MBA World Tour will be separate.


  • THIS EVENT WILL CHANGE LOCATIONS YEARLY – We figured to have the first MBA World Tour in Staten Island where the original chapter has operated for 5 seasons. I’m sure there will be some bumps and the league would prefer to have it at their home base. We’re looking at either Boston or Lancaster for next year (maybe other chapters beyond.)


  • SEPARATE SIGN UPS AND NEW TROPHIES – We’d love to do this using the current cache of billions in the MBA trust account, but we blew it in Vegas and at Pugs. We will have a sign up form with a reasonable fee to ensure that everyone involved has the best time possible.


Keep an eye out in this space for the rest of the details including sign ups, competition themes, trophies, before and after parties, and hotel room blocks (if traveling from out of town or if you are just tired of living with your parents.)