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Dec 4, 2018

NEWS: League Introduces The Turkey Club

-  MBA HEADQUARTERS – NEW YORK, NY

The Mediocre Bowling Association is proud to announce they have added a new award to it’s ever growing trophy display case. While the standards for the league remain low, the league figured its members would like to aim slightly high to be a part of an exclusive club:

The Turkey Club

“The Turkey Club enamel pin will be awarded to the player who, you guessed it, throws a turkey at least once in their MBA career starting with the 2018-19 season.” League commissioner Dan Derwin said while he was shopping at Target with his brother Dave Derwin. “Professional leagues celebrate the 300 Club, but nobody cares about that. What’s better than throwing a turkey in front of your chapter?”

The Boston chapter of the MBA started their own tradition of chugging Twisted Teas if the player threw a turkey. While this sounds, um, delicious I guess, an award they can remember will be much more fitting. “Nothing will stop the Twisted tradition. Not even this.” Chapter leader Maria Capone said in a league email.

 We know some of you are thinking “This will be a breeze. Give me my fucking enamel pin!” While some will be thinking “Maybe if I pay attention when I throw, I could be a part of this elite club of individuals!”

The commissioner was also asked if bowlers who threw a turkey prior to this season will receive a pin. He was pretty straight forward with his answer. “No. New season, new award. Let them eat an actual turkey club.” He said.

 

Supposedly, a turkey club sandwich

A pin will be mailed directly to the individual winner who’s thrown a turkey so far this season in either October, November, or December after the Great Divide later this month. Then starting in January, they will be mailed monthly at the conclusion of each event.

See you around, you turkeys!

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