May 16, 2019
WRAP UP: Cotchen Wins World Tour on Home Turf; Boston Wins Chapters' Cup
On a picturesque day in the Red Rose City, the 2019 MBA World Tour was ready to kick off its third year. It was a great turn out all around, but bringing in the heavy numbers were the Staten Island chapter with 18. Our Lancaster came through with 9 and Boston brought up the rear with 7. The Boston chapter was praised for their lengthy 6 hour car ride south, but Lancaster was universally panned for only having 9 when its members lived within a very non lengthy ten minute car ride. “We have a small chapter and some people couldn’t make it.” Chapter leader Mike McDonnell said over breakfast. “Our Munson Cup champion was also nowhere to be found.” He said in reference to rookie Devyn Lazer. “Who cares because we are going to win the Chapters’ Cup
Would they back it up on the lanes?
Some liquid encouragment for the Lancaster chapter
At Rocky Springs Lanes, the home base of their chapter, the Chapters’ Cup kicked off in a wonderful private wing of the alley with it’s own dedicated 8 lanes (and most importantly, its own bartender.) Nobody could honestly tell how the two games that pitted all three chapters against each other was progressing until the scores were tallied. In the end, to utter bemusement, Boston narrowly bested Staten Island 126.7 to 126.5. Not only that, but 2x defending champions Lancaster finished third with a 125.7, just ONE pin under first place.
“Fuck this.” Chapter leaders Dan & Mike said, respectively.
Boston unhorses Lancaster after winning the first two Chapters' Cups, FINALLY
The top 8 players on the Chapters’ Cup leaderboard would play a bracket style championship to see who would win the MBA World Tour. The bottom 8 players would play a 1 game Gutter Gauntlet. The 18 schleps in the middle would play in the 1 game Mediocre Melee.
Catherine Picozzi didn’t really have too much competition, and secured her victory, and The Bowl, with a 155 AVG! “Look Dad, I won!” she gleamed on her Instagram.
A girl with a bowl
To everyone’s dissatisfaction, perennial winner of things Kevin Rogers would take home his first Atlass trophy for finishing first in the Mediocre Melee. “Right next to my other 50 bowling trophies it goes.” He said after being forced by Boston’s Erica Fullerton to chug a Smirnoff Ice after throwing a turkey.
The World Tour bracket had the 1st vs 8th seed, 2nd vs 7th, ah you get the picture. To keep it simple, the 5th through 8th seeds eliminated the 1st through 4th!
Mark Capone lost to Joabi Leflar
Tony Chiappi lost to Nick Arico
Krystal Stanley lost to Kevin Cotchen
Kris Mork lost to (2019 Staten Island Munson Cup champion) Dan Derwin
Joabi approves of his advancement
In the second round,
Nick Arico lost to Kevin Cotchen
(2019 Staten Island Munson Cup champion) Dan Derwin lost to Joabi Leflar
The Final Four
As a side note, Staten Island’s Nick Arico, who finished his first MBA season with a meager 99.6 AVG, brought his newly found talents to Pennsylvania for this tournament by making it to the Final Four. Good shit!
Joe thinks Nick wants to give him five, but he just wants to pop that balloon
For the championship, we had two of the Lancaster’s most loveable facing off in their own backyard. Kevin Cotchen was in this position last year in Boston and came up short. “Bending down to put the ring on Mark Capone was not something I wanted to do again.” Kevin said “Even though Joabi isn’t Mark.” He added.
He wouldn’t be denied.
With a final score that in true mediocre fashion the league has misplaced, he would beat Joabi’s score of 144.
Thanks to everybody for showing up this year! Its our favorite event of the MBA calendar year simply because it puts all of these animals under one roof. Unless we add another chapter for 2019-20, we’ll see you in Staten Island for the World Tour next year! Spread the word and let’s get recruiting.