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Mar 25, 2017

Wrap Up: DiMarco Dominates Munson Cup Chapter Championship

MBA CHAPTER – STATEN ISLAND, NY

The playoffs are a time to reflect upon a season that may or may not have gone your way. Your accomplishments or lack there were plentiful. The 2017 Playoffs for the Staten Island chapter were under way at Rabs Country Lanes.

The Honorable Munson Wild Card and it’s 26 players started things off. Almost immediately, it was apparent that the trophy was going to either chapter leader Dan Derwin or Joe Tavalare, who hadn’t left an open frame through 6. Derwin would go one frame further and win the nail biter 179 to 164. The two of them shook hands after the game. “I didn’t want to look up at the screen to see who else was close.” The former Rookie of the Year Tavalare told the press. It was at this time, Derwin slapped him with the trophy hand and began chest bumping him in front of the cameras. “I don’t know what came over me.” Derwin said, clearly drunk.

Next, the Mediocre Cup Finals. While regular season winners Justin DeCrescenzo and Christine Beaton (still recovering after giving birth to her spanking new baby) were absent, Brandon Herman, Megan Gaul, and Kayte Mosley took to the lane for the battle of the middle people. It was close in the beginning, but the final scores would tell the story with a 131, 82, and 118, respectively. “To hold the Mediocre Cup in my arms, like Leigh Janicki and Matt Meinzer before me, is a dream come true.” Herman would say post game. “I will cherish this until the start of next season.”

Finally, to the Roy L. Munson Chapter Championship. For the first time in league history, a rookie would finish at the top of the leaderboard. Phil Demarco was brooding with confidence as he strutted into the alley looking like he walked off the set of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Kris Mork and Mike Contardo were also new faces in the top 7. Mork, who broke the league record with 50 spares in a season, won the Fred Glasier Memorial Award. Contardo snuck into the top 7 due to Mike Dillon being unable to attend the event.

Due to a fire in the league’s office, most of the first round’s scores were lost. What WASN’T lost, was the fact that Dan Derwin, Mike Contardo, James Ciccone, and the reigning champion Kevin Rogers were all eliminated. League officials believe the fire was started deliberately, but the 7 empty gas cans weren’t proof enough.

The second round had one big upset, with 5th seed Kris Mork taking down 2nd seed Sean Kuhl 165 to 149. “I’m the San Jose Sharks of the MBA.” Kuhl said while putting his regular shoes back on. While Kuhl has one most of the other trophies, the Munson Cup will have to wait for another year…maybe. Phil Dimarco would lay the hammer down on the 2012 champ Mike Calascibetta with a final score of 167 to 134. “It felt good to be back in the playoffs.” He said afterwards.

The final pitted two rookies against each other for the first time ever. 1 seed vs 5 seed. While this match up had the potential to be thrilling, it was pretty much over before it started. Dimarco started off with a turkey and a spare in the first 4 frames, while Mork was off to a much slower start. Dimarco was a man possessed for the rest of the game finishing with 184 to 115. Dimarco would walk away that day with the First Overall, Rookie of the Year, and the elusive Munson Cup. “I think I’ve officially peaked.” He said. “When my banner goes up at Mother Pugs Saloon this fall, I might cry.”

Either way, the league benefitted from having two rookies represent the chapter in the final. It just shows that ANYBODY CAN WIN / or lose. Thanks to everybody who joined us for our 5th season. We hope everyone has a great summer and we look forward to having you all back next year!

Notable for the evenings include:

*Nothing really….Sign up for the MBA World Tour this coming April! We will be facing off against the two expansion chapters for the end all be all of glory. You can read up about it and sign up HERE. The deadline is April 8th, for the tournament that takes place on Saturday April 22nd at Rabs Country Lanes.

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Feb 27, 2017

Kuhl Wins His First T.D.K. Memorial in Staten Island - Top 7 Announced!

MBA CHAPTER – STATEN ISLAND, NY

 It was a bit unlike any of the Theodore Donald Kerabatsos Memorial Tournaments in league history. With 65 degrees in February and a meager 28 out of 61 attendees, people were very confused. “I think I should have gone to the beach.” Claimed Charley Aspatola.

 

The February haul

While the snow melted aggressively outside of Rabs Country Lanes, the 5th annual Memorial Tournament was underway with 3 games. While the top 5 players on the leaderboard were pretty much cemented, the 6th and 7th seeds were pretty much up for grabs between 7 people.

 Game 1 had a few people who stood above the rest. James Ciccone, who is usually on his game, bowled a 167. Dan Derwin also had a solid first game with a 161. The stand out game came from Keri Sheeheen who bowled a 182. “It’s true.” She said afterwards.

 

While Ryan Petersen has clearly moved on from his experience representing Mother Pugs Saloon at Punk Rock Bowling 2016 in Asbury Park, George Karyczak has not

In Game 2, former champion Mike Calascibetta had a resurgent game that harked back to glory days gone past. Bowling a 161, Calascibetta dreamed of the day when he held the Roy L. Munson cup above his head in the league’s inaugural season. “I still get asked for autographs.” He said while looking at pictures from 5 years ago on his cell phone. “Now, I’m just trying to get into the top 7.”

 

"This is how you throw a ball!" "I know, I had a great year"

Game 3 had the ever villainous Sean Kuhl bowling a 174 to give him an event average of 155.6. This victory gives Kuhl every regular season trophy except for December’s Great Divide. “I’m running out of shelf space, but there will always be room for the elusive Munson Cup.” Kuhl said. Kuhl, has historically played down to the competition during the March Badness season.

 

Not today, though. He will get to enjoy this new addition to his collection, the Pour Donny. We’ll see what happens next month when it all matters.

 Notables for the evening (FINAL STANDINGS TOO YOU BOZOS!) include:

 

  • With Mike Contardo absent and former Rookie of the Year Joe Tavalare having a rough event, Mike Calascibetta DID INDEED make into the Top 7 for the Roy L. Munson Chapter Championship next month along with Kris Mork, who had an amazing event with 8 spares in Game 3 and 16 overall which broke the TDK record set by Mark Eadicicco in 2015 with 15. “Fuck!” said Tavalare. “Yes!” squealed Mork from Lee’s Tavern postgame.

 

  • On Lane 24, there were problems reminiscent of the “Princess Stare” at Showplace Entertainment Center in 2015. With kids from Lane 23 spilling into their lane, many of the bowlers were obviously distraught. “This wasn’t just mental interference, this was physical interference.” Kevin Rogers would tell the press afterwards. At press time, Rogers finished #5 over all. Put a sock in it.

 Live from the "Princess Stare" sequel

  • Todd Currier and his girlfriend Alicia Phillips both finished with 7 gutters in the TDK Memorial Tournament, in which Currier thought he had the trophy on lock down. When Phillips threw one less strike than him (0) she took the elusive Gutter Trash out of his hands. “I was drunk on zombies and it still didn’t matter.” He said. “But at least it’s in the same house!”

 

  • Here are your regular season trophy winners: First Overall Trophy (1st Place in Regular Season) Phil DiMarco with a 157.5 AVG --- Helen Dillon Memorial Award (Most Strikes) James Ciccone with 36 --- Fred Glasier Memorial Award (Most Spares) Kris Mork with 50 --- Most Mediocre Bowler’s Pin (Median Average in Regular Season) Catherine Picozzi with a 118.8 AVG --- MBA Staten Island Chapter’s Rookie of the Year is Phil DiMarco with a 157 AVG

 

GAME LOG

 

EVENT WINNER: SEAN KUHL (155.6 AVG)

 

EVENT WINNER: XXXXX

 

EVENT WINNER: XXXXX

 

 

DUDE AWARD WINNER: MEGAN GAUL

GUTTER TRASH AWARD WINNER: ALICIA PHILLIPS

 

 

MOST STRIKES OVERALL: 9 (S. KUHL, K. ROGERS, J. CICCONE)

MOST SPARES OVERALL: 16 (K. MORK)

MOST GUTTERS OVERALL: 7 (T. CURRIER, A. PHILLIPS)

 

 

MOST STRIKES IN ONE GAME: 5 (S. KUHL, K. ROGERS, J. CICCONE)

MOST SPARES IN ONE GAME: 8 (K. MORK)

MOST GUTTERS IN ONE GAME: 5 (T. CURRIER)

 

 

HIGHEST  SCRATCH SCORE IN ONE GAME: 179 (J. CICCONE)

LOWEST SCRATCH SCORE IN ONE GAME: 59 (J. REITER)

EVENT MEDIAN SCORE: 120 AVG

 

 

MBA CHAPTER: STATEN ISLAND

EVENT DATE: 2/19/17

LOCATION: RABS COUNTRY LANES

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Jan 24, 2017

Wrap Up: Team Spare Paradise in Paradise After Caucasian Open Championship

MBA CHAPTER – STATEN ISLAND, NY

 For the first time in league history, the Caucasian Open saw a total of EIGHT captains. Averages ranging from 150.2 to 131.2 were represented. “How the hell did I end up as a captain?” asked Ryan Petersen. When he was told that both Mike Dillon and Mike Calascibetta didn’t show up, he answered with “Oh.”

 

Betty & The Hens -- Next season on FOX

With many team names ranging from “Team Positivity” to “Team Make Bowling Great Again” and even “Team Shit…Oh That Went Well” (Sounds like they named their team after the event,) The chapter was ready for it’s biggest team event of all time.

 Phil Demarco shook Game 1 to it’s foundation by bowling a 204, beating Geoff Celis’ Caucasian Open record of 189 in 2015. Leigh Janicki also broke the event record of 6 spares in one game thrown by both Mark Eadicicco and Geoff Celis in 2014 and 2016, by throwing 8. Until this year, nobody in the MBA had thrown more than 7 spares in a game. In November, Sean Kuhl threw 8. In December, Kevin Rogers threw 8, and now Janicki. “Records are falling like crazy.” Said Phil Cadaver. Thanks, Phil…

 

After Lil Leopard's theft during the offseason, league CEO Hillary Scott took action with her new beau

It must have been contagious, because Team Spare Paradise was named exactly for that reason. The whole team threw an incredible 21 spares in their first game. “Leigh started the game with 5 straight spares, and we just wanted to keep it going.” Tanya Holowchuk told the press wihle she was high fiving her captain James Ciccone. When she realized she high fived him after he failed to pick up a spare, she apologized.

 

Kayte Mosley and her gang. This is no West Side Story

In game 2, it was all about Joe Tavalare. He threw a scratch score of 205, breaking Demarco’s record within an hour only giving him a fleeting moment to enjoy his day in the sun. “Feels great to put new records in the history books.” Said the 2014-15 SI chapter Rookie of the Year. “I wish I could have done more to get my team the championship today, though.”

 

Phil Cadaver, with a timid scare and limited edition chapter shirt, bowled one of his best events

While the scores were pretty close all around, Team Spare Paradise would take home the “Big Drink” with a 132.1 average. While this would be Leigh Janicki’s THIRD time on the White Russian trophy, her teammates (Captain) James Ciccone, MBA CEO Dan Derwin, Tanya Halowchuk, and Lois Conti would have their names etched onto it for the first time. “Two months in a row I’ve won!” said Conti who was referring her Great Divide championship last month with teammate Mike Dillon. Team Positivity came in second place with a team average of 130.7. Keith Paras, both league official and member of Team Positivity, just can’t catch a break. “I’ve been in this league since the beginning and I can’t get ONE piece of hardware.” He told the traveling press while eating at Mezcals. “I’m the definition of mediocre wherein I always fall between any award that is handed out.”

 

Every asshole that won last week

With team events in the rear view mirror, we only have one more month left to find out who will end up where on the leaderboard. Then, the playoffs in March. Buckle up.

 

Notables for the evening include:

  • Brendan Herman took home his first Dude Award with an average of 125, with the median average of the event being 125.2. What is notable about this is his fiancé Kayte Mosley won her Dude Award last month. Both new members, they couldn’t believe their luck. “Now we basically get to fight to the death in March.” Herman said. Actually, it’s not like that at all, but CONGRATULATIONS!
  • Dave Derwin took home his first Gutter Trash Award of his career. With 9 gutters, he continues his career pattern of bowling super impressively or super Dudley. “I can’t put my finger on it.” Says the 2015 Great Divide Champ. “From now on I’m not going to let anybody use my marker to label their beer cups.”
  • Mark Eadicicco is not happy with his season. “Fuck this season. I’m probably going to quit.”

GAME LOG

EVENT WINNER: TEAM SPARE PARADISE (132.1 AVG)

 

EVENT WINNER: XXXXX

 

EVENT WINNER: XXXXX

 

 

DUDE AWARD WINNER: BRENDAN HERMAN

GUTTER TRASH AWARD WINNER: DAVE DERWIN

 

 

MOST STRIKES OVERALL: 9 (P. DEMARCO, J. TAVALARE)

MOST SPARES OVERALL: 10 (L. JANACKI)

MOST GUTTERS OVERALL: 9 (DAVE DERWIN)

 

 

MOST STRIKES IN ONE GAME: 6 (J. TAVALARE)

MOST SPARES IN ONE GAME: 8 (L. JANICKI)

MOST GUTTERS IN ONE GAME: 6 (DAVE DERWIN)

 

 

HIGHEST  SCRATCH SCORE IN ONE GAME: 205 (J. TAVALARE)

LOWEST SCRATCH SCORE IN ONE GAME: 46 (H. O’SHEA)

EVENT MEDIAN SCORE: 125.2

 

 

MBA CHAPTER: STATEN ISLAND

EVENT DATE: 01/15/2017

LOCATION: RABS COUNTRY LANES

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Dec 22, 2016

Wrap Up: Dillon and Conti With Great Victory At S.I. Great Divide

MBA CHAPTER – STATEN ISLAND, NY

 The holidays bring forth many feelings of cheer and good will. Fortunately, you won’t find an ounce of it during a sanctioned MBA event.

 The 2016 Great Divide for the Staten Island chapter was no different. On Sunday, 40 bowlers were paired up via the leaderboard. The best player played with the worst, second best with second worst, and so forth. With both Phil Dimarco and Sean Kuhl absent, members were exciting to get a leg up in the competition. “Anytime Sean isn’t here, the sun feels a little bit warmer on our faces.”  Matt Wilson said. “I think you’re just hungover.” Ashley Dalle chimed in.

 The 2016 "Great" Divide on Staten Island

Game 1 held a lot of the usual trash talking and reluctant high fiving between partners that were formed by the math only. League Official Keith Paras didn’t even realize that his partner was Kerri Sheheen until the middle of game 2. “Maybe if he gave me some moral support, I could have bowled better.” Sheheen said between bites of Christmas cookies she found on the floor. Joe Contardo and Jess Dillon were one of the surprise pairs to get off to a good start with each bowling a 149 and 158, respectively. Todd Currier and Mike Calascibetta also had a great first game with scores of 170 and 136, respectively. “I knew White Devil wouldn’t let me down.” Currier said while showing people pictures of his cats. “It was Game 2 that was going to worry me.”

 Trophies, stats, and poisioned Christmas Cookies on display

When Game 2 began, Mike Dillon and Lois Conti weren’t exactly tearing the paint off the pins. With Game 1 scores of 144 and 125, nobody gave them a real chance. “I was looking at Kevin Rogers or Jimmy Ciccone’s teams to finish off this event with a trophy with the way their team was going.” Rookie Emily Peters told the MBA press. “Somebody hold my baby while I get another pitcher.” Was also overheard from George Karyczak nearby.

 
Rabs, too, tried to poison us. Sorry, but we'll be back next month.

With Dillon’s ability to turn it on at the right time, his 189 combined with Conti’s strong 145 gave them a final average of 150.7. This would be Dillon’s first Great Divide championship, and Conti’s first league trophy all around. “I’m so happy, that I’m going to build a shelf for this when I get home.” Conti said as the camera flashes were going off. “Actually, I’ll just have Phil (Cadaver) do it for me.” Phil the Shelf Builder could not be reached for comment at press time.

 With one more (massive) team event coming in January, it’ll be important for members to hang onto that partnership quality for one more month before not giving a shit about anyone but themselves come January.

 Notable events for the evening include: 

  • Although Kayte Mosley came very close to winning the Great Divide with her partner James Ciccone when they finished with a 147.7 average, Mosley did end up winning the Dude Award for having night’s median average. In her two months with the MBA, has a Gutter Trash Award from the Knock’em Back Masters, and now a Dude. “It’s insane how well I’m doing.” Mosley said. While the jury would say that she didn’t do WELL to earn those awards, we won’t take anything away from her until she reads this paragraph at it’s publishing.

 Mosley showing off her Dude Award while Ciccone not only goes home empty handed, but can't even take a picture correctly

  • Team Starbies burned out like a Frappa Nova in this event. Dan Derwin, who bowled a career worst 109 and 101, couldn’t be consoled after the event. His partner Heather Paras, who was seen being overly comforting towards his struggles, had a decent night by her standards. “I brought him down to my level.” Paras said. “I hope we’re on the same team for the Caucasian Open!”

 

 

GAME LOG

 

EVENT WINNER: MIKE DILLON (166.5 AVG)

 

EVENT WINNER: LOIS CONTI (135 AVG)

 

EVENT WINNER:

 

 

DUDE AWARD WINNER: KAYTE MOSLEY

GUTTER TRASH AWARD WINNER: JARED REITER

 

 

MOST STRIKES OVERALL: 9 (J. CICCONE)

MOST SPARES OVERALL: 14 (K. ROGERS)

MOST GUTTERS OVERALL: 8 (J. REITER)

 

 

MOST STRIKES IN ONE GAME: 5 (J. CICCONE)

MOST SPARES IN ONE GAME: 8 (K. ROGERS)

MOST GUTTERS IN ONE GAME: 6 (J. REITER)

 

 

HIGHEST  SCRATCH SCORE IN ONE GAME: 189 (M. DILLON)

LOWEST SCRATCH SCORE IN ONE GAME: 61 (J. REITER)

EVENT MEDIAN SCORE: 126

 

 

MBA CHAPTER: STATEN ISLAND

EVENT DATE: 12/18/2016

LOCATION: RABS COUNTRY LANES

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Dec 2, 2016

Wrap Up: Kuhl Starts New Streak With Second Straight Masters Win


The winners circle..."I was winning for two..." Christine Beaton was quoted 
after the event at Lee's Pizza

MBA CHAPTER – STATEN ISLAND, NY

Mike Calascibetta was pretty positive that he was going to shake off last years loss easily and get back to his impressive winning ways for November’s Knock’em Back Masters. “This is my first event of the season so even though there are people who say that I’ll be rusty, I say to them that I will be POWERFUL.” Calascibetta told the MBA press in the parking lot on the way in.

Would he fulfill his prophecy?

With the games underway, players were excited to play for the Big Lebrewski, arguably the league’s fanciest trophy. Newcomer Charley Aspatola commented on it while walking by. “They sell those at the bar?” he was heard asking to anyone who would listen.  Game 1 saw a few stand out scores. Sean Kuhl (193), Joe Contardo (162) and Phil DeMarco (160) to name a few. Contardo, who threw a 98 and 81 in his first two games of his MBA career in October, was the most improved by a long shot. “I’m trying to figure out this league.” He said while finishing a disgusting pumpkin flavored beer. “There is a lot of pressure when you’re trying to be the best…or is it the worst?”


Picture proof that Sara Eadicicco isn't a dirty dirty liar about her impressive hambone!
Seeing is believing...

Game 2 saw “The ladies with handicaps” make a statement. Chapter leader Hillary Scott (165) Sara Eadicicco (164) Bari Reiter (162) Jessica Dillon (156) Catherine Picozzi (153) to name a few. The event in general saw a lot of streaks as well. There would be 4 turkeys thrown (S. Kuhl, K. Rogers, M. Dillon, H. Scott) as well as 1 ham bone which is 4 strikes in a row (S. Eadicicco.)


League officials, especially Marf Eadicicco were eager to pitch in with the scorecards this month,
so there were slightly less mistakes! PROGRESS.

The numbers wouldn’t lie in the end. While Phil DeMarco would become the runner up with a 163.5 average, he would come 13 ½ points short of Sean Kuhl’s impressive victory. “A new streak has begun!” Kuhl said to cameras afterwards. “Now it’s MY turn to try and win a 3rd straight Golden Colt.” In 5 years, the event has only had 2 winners. A very impressive narrative for the November Classic that doesn’t seem to be going away. Except Calscibetta. It seems that he went away. “No comment.” He could be heard saying as he collided with every car in his way driving out of the very same parking lot he felt so confident walking through earlier.

 

Other notables for the evening include:

*Mike and Jess Dillon’s 7 month old Sadie was the toast of the alley as player could be seen rubbing their hands on her head for luck. MBA commissioner Dan Derwin was seen kissing her on the top of the head before throwing his ball in frame 7 of the second game. When he only knocked down a few pins, he was over heard cursing at the baby. Alley security had to take Derwin to the back room and teach him some manners.


Good Luck Dillon in action!


"Well fuck..." - Dan Derwin

*After a scoring mix up last month, it emerged that Jimmy Ciccone was actually the rightful heir to the first place ribbon from the Sweetness Open. He and Chapter Leader, Dan Derwin, shook hands like gentlemen and swapped prizes before the start of the Knock 'Em Back. "I'm not giving it back next time, tough titties" said Dan Derwin to the Gutter Trash Trophy, since no one else would listen. Here's hoping for less scoring errors in the future.

*Staten island chapter member Matt Meinzer has thrown his last ball (hopefully temporarily) for the Medicore Bowling Association. As of the beginning of December, he will be moving to Ecuador. Although he couldn’t be reached for comment, we wish him the best in his endeavors below the equator. We hear it’s a wonderful bowling city. At press time, we have no idea where we heard that from.


This is where I would put a picture of Matt Meinzer, but we didn't have one

EVENT WINNER: SEAN KUHL (177 AVG) 

 

DUDE AWARD WINNER: CHRISTINE BEATON (116.5 AVG)

GUTTER TRASH AWARD WINNER: KAYTE MOSELEY (13)

 

 

MOST STRIKES OVERALL: K. ROGERS (10)

MOST SPARES OVERALL: S. KUHL (13)

MOST GUTTERS OVERALL: K. MOSELEY (13)

 

 

MOST STRIKES IN ONE GAME: 6 (P. DEMARCO)

MOST SPARES IN ONE GAME: 8 (S. KUHL)

MOST GUTTERS IN ONE GAME: 8 (K. MOSELEY)

 

 

HIGHEST  SCRATCH SCORE IN ONE GAME: 189 (S. KUHL)

LOWEST SCRATCH SCORE IN ONE GAME: 44 (J. KELLER)

EVENT MEDIAN SCORE:119.3

 

 

MBA CHAPTER: STATEN ISLAND

EVENT DATE: 11/20/2016

LOCATION: RABS COUNTRY LANES

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Oct 18, 2016

Wrap Up: Sweet Tiebreaker: Ciccone Squeaks Into 1st Place Over Derwin Amid Controversy

MBA CHAPTER – STATEN ISLAND, NY

Bowling is back. The Sweetness Open is back. Drinking, however, hasn’t stopped.

The 5th Sweetness Open for the Staten Island chapter was a rousing success. New members flooded the lanes and the veterans returned in droves, tallying an incredible 42 players over all. With the latest success of expanding to two new cities, Boston and Lancaster, the League expected big things from the day but the bowling ended up being just as dreadful as usual. “The only difference today is that we didn’t get a 3 foot sandwich in the bar during the check in process,” noted Matt Wilson.

 Serge'ing for a strike. Yep.

With 8 lanes busting at the seams with recklessness and overflowing pint glasses, the games began. Chapter leader Dan Derwin threw an impressive 186 in Game 1, tying the Sweetness Open’s highest score (S. Kuhl, 2013) He would also throw a turkey within the first 4 frames. James Ciccone and rookie Phil DiMarco threw impressive first games as well with a 169 and 168, respectively.

 

Game 2 went completely down hill for a bunch of players. Maggi Weaver in particular. The bride-to-be and EMT bowled a 86 after bowling a 153 in her first game. “I just couldn’t stop thinking of going to Lee’s Pizza after the game.” She would say between tears after the event. “Take me there now.” Fellow rookies Kris Mork and Catherine Picozzi would throw impressive second games with a 140 and 138, respectively. Picozzi would add her name to the Turkey Club in this game as well. “I don’t know what the Turkey Club is, but now I’m hungry.” She would say standing on the Genarro’s line.

 Sweetness Open Memorabilia

But ask anyone and they will tell you that success in the Sweetness comes down to one thing: stamina. Game 3 is where concentration is put to the ultimate test. With rusty limbs, overzealous drinking, and attention spans drifting, people hunkered down to put a cherry on top of their awesome (or lousy) event scores. Last season’s Roy L. Munson Chapter Champion and Chapter dick, Kevin Rogers, would finish strong with a 158 in his final game. He would be seen walking back and forth amongst the lanes looking at who would be in contention for the 1st, 2nd and 3rd place Sweetness Ribbons. “That (Phil) DiMarco guy finished with a pretty good average.” Rogers would say. “We are going to have to keep an eye on him in the events to come.”

 "Former" champ Kevin Rogers yells at his lady in frustation

As it would turn out, Dan Derwin and James Ciccone would both finish with a 150 average. Controversially, league officials thought that Derwin threw more strikes in the tie breaker (7 to 3) since that is how his lane’s score card was written out. Upon further review it would be Ciccone who would take home his first 1st place medal throwing 11 strikes (after coming in 2nd last year). “I’m glad the league figured out this hogwash and gave me my day in the sun.” Ciccone would say via FaceTime from his home. Derwin couldn’t be reached for comment. Witnesses say that he was seen hurling a chunk of “gold” into the Kill Van Kull while cursing violently in the wee hours.

 The scorecard in question

The MBA is considering a mandatory scorekeeping class in the offseason. Somewhere between 22 hours / 6 days a week throughout the summer.  We’ll see how next month’s Knock’em Back Masters goes!

 

Notables for the evening include:

 

*Keith Paras was heard saying things that could put his title of League Official in jeopardy. Throwing a 99, 90, and 76, Paras said that he was slightly throwing his game so his handicap would be high for next month’s Knock’em Back Masters. Paras, who has always stated that he wanted to win the Big Lebrewski trophy, officially put his integrity on the line. “I can’t blame bowling on my bum foot anymore, so I’m just gonna be truthful. Also, prove it.” For the record, this is the same man who ate a cucumber during games 1 and 2. “He completely distracted me during the frame where I threw two straight gutters.” George Karyczak would say. “Enough of this guy.”

 "The Cucumber Chronicles"

*It seems with Jared Reiter’s absence, members were eager to get a crack this month’s Gutter Trash Award. Reiter, who had won a record breaking 4 straight awards, was ready to pass the torch. “I’m tired of them,” he’d say via text message to his sister Bari Reiter’s phone. In their excitement, some lanes were marking down gutters whenever they saw a dash on their scorecard. Lane 29 specifically, had total gutters of 13, 14, 15 to name a few. Fortunately, these were corrected on the spot. Diana Contardo would end up winning the award, with an actual 10 total gutters for the event. Matt Wilson offered to deliver her the esteemed award, sources say his car dashboard has gotten more cluttered since he took posession of it. League officials will have to confirm with Contardo next month that she received one of the most coveted trophies in the MBA arsenal.

 

GAME LOG

1st PLACE EVENT WINNER: JAMES CICCONE (150 AVG)

 

2nd PLACE EVENT WINNER: DAN DERWIN (150 AVG)

 

3rd PLACE EVENT WINNER: KEVIN ROGERS (145.3 AVG)

 

 

DUDE AWARD WINNER: JUSTIN DECRESCENZO (107.6)

GUTTER TRASH AWARD WINNER: DIANA CONTARDO (10)

 

 

MOST STRIKES OVERALL: 11 (J. CICCONE)

MOST SPARES OVERALL: 14 (K. ROGERS)

MOST GUTTERS OVERALL: 10 (D. CONTARDO)

 

 

MOST STRIKES IN ONE GAME: 5 (J. CICCONE)

MOST SPARES IN ONE GAME: 7 (P. DIMARCO)

MOST GUTTERS IN ONE GAME: 6 (D. CONTARDO)

 

 

HIGHEST  SCRATCH SCORE IN ONE GAME: 186 (DAN DERWIN)

LOWEST SCRATCH SCORE IN ONE GAME: 55 (J. DILLON)

EVENT MEDIAN SCORE: 107.7 AVG

 

 

MBA CHAPTER: STATEN ISLAND

EVENT DATE: 10/16/16

LOCATION: RABS COUNTRY LANES

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Sep 21, 2016

Wrap Up: Rogers Gets Hung; Kuhl & Son Win Chapter Invitational

MBA CHAPTER – STATEN ISLAND, NY

 On Saturday night, the Staten Island chapter paid it’s tribute to Kevin Rogers with a banner night at Mother Pugs Saloon. His name joined the Ring of Honor, along side legendary bowlers such as Mike Calascibetta, Justin Krstinic, and Geoff Celis. He was also the first member to show up fashionably late to his own ceremony. “The party doesn’t start until I get there, anyway.” Rogers said to the press. The bands were loud, and the drinks were flowing. Everybody was just happy to move on from the traumatizing event.

 

Rabs Country Lanes welcomed the chapter with aplomb

The 4th MBA Chapter Invitational in 5 seasons took place on an unusually humid day in September. Members of the Staten Island chapter, old and new, couldn’t help but complain about the 80+ degree day. “When I come to bowl, I expect to wear a jacket.” Bari Reiter complained. “My bowling balls are sticking to my bag.” Said Phil Cadaver. Hah, we get it.

 

A total of 33 people showed up to bowl which is a league record for a preseason event, since most people who sign up late can’t fit the game into their schedule .17 members qualified to compete for the Attendance Record trophy. Since they attended all 5 regular season events in the previous campaign, they had the right to jump right into the pressure cooker while the other members threw a stress free 2 games to get back into the swing of things. New members got to observe how the MBA machine works during event day. “I was impressed.” Rookie Phil DiMarco told a few strangers in the parking lot that evening. “Wait, who are you?”

 "Can I help you?" - Matt Wilson

After 1 game, the eyes of the chapter were on 2 members for their impressive scores: Sean Kuhl (157) and Ryan Petersen (156.) Once they both knew of each other’s potential to win, Kuhl started to converse with Petersen more. “Why he is yelling a bunch of shit that will make me laugh?” Petersen said. “I thought this was supposed to be relaxing today. I wish I either didn’t bowl as well or I picked up the spares in my second game”

 Sean Kuhl's secret weapon: "Lil" Chuck

Kuhl would eventually bowl a strong 149 in Game 2 to finish with an event winning average of 153. Petersen petered out with a 118 in his second game. “Between my wife and I, we’ve won this event 3 out of the last 4 times.” Kuhl would say while holding the Attendance Record with his newborn son, Charles, in his arms. “I haven’t won since the league changed the trophy so I needed it.”

 The real season starts with the Sweetness Open on October 16th. The baby might have to grab a beer for this one.

 

Other notables for the evening include:

 *Last season, George Karyczak opened the floodgates by bringing his baby daughter, Betty, to the February T.D.K. Memorial Tournament. At this season’s MBA Chapter Invitational, both the Kuhl’s and the Dillon’s brought their own babies. “Who needs a babysitter when we have 30 or more willing to watch them for us while we bowl?” Jessica Dillon said. The league is looking into baby clothes to sell in it’s online store.

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Mar 25, 2016

Wrap Up: Rogers Dethrones Celis and Begins Reign as New MBA Champion!


MBA CHAPTER – STATEN ISLAND, NY

With the 4th Mediocre Bowling Association season in the books, it’s time to look ahead to warm weather, beaches, fireworks, throwing up, and sunburn before we eventually get back into bowling action by September. First, let’s recap one of the best Final Day’s in league history.

The Honorable Munson Wild Card took place first with some especially notable players in the mix. Justin Krstinic, playing in his first ever Wild Card round, was one of the sure favorites to win the coveted 8th seed. Mike Calascibetta, Munson Cup champion in 2013, is always a contender for a career game, also. Towards the end of the game, fellow bowlers were pointing to the scores of Krstinic, Jess Kuhl, rookie Christine Beaton, and Hillary Scott as potential winners. But it was true wild card Maggi Weaver and her handicap of 23 added to her scratch score of 139 who stole the show with the winning total (162). While there was a rumor of Krstinic throwing his last frame in favor of leaving early to meet his girlfriend (to which he shiftily swore to present league officials was not the case) he congratulated Weaver before hastily running out the door.

Up next was the Mediocre Cup Finals, taking place simultaneously as the Roy L. Munson Chapter Championship. Regular season Dude Award winners Diane Lawler, Leigh Janicki, and Melissa Roche faced off in a one game playoff to determine who was the most mediocre of the mediocre. With Margaret Salzillo not in attendance, and Dan Derwin choosing his destiny as the RLMCC’s 7th seed, the three ladies were there to battle it out amongst themselves. Lawler and Janicki were pretty much neck and neck until the very end. Although Lawler had a 6 pin edge in handicap, she would fall 6 more pins short in a 136 to 130 result. Janicki, who won her 3rd trophy of the 2015-16 season couldn’t put the Mediocre Cup down long after she’d won it. 

“Do you think this thing leaks? Imma get a mimosa up in this bitch.”
Janicki was overheard asking the Rab’s bartender. 

Meanwhile, the first round of the RLMCC pitted the Honorable Munson winner vs #1 seed Sean Kuhl, 7th seed Dan Derwin vs 2nd seed Mike Dillon, 6th seed Kevin Rogers vs 3rd seed (and Rookie of the Year) James Ciccone, and 5th seed Jon Marotte, vs 4th seed Geoff Celis. While some good games took place, including Roger’s 189 to 175 victory over Ciccone, none other was more impressive than Weaver’s upset over Kuhl. Being the 1st Wild Card winner to advance to the second round, Weaver praised the support of her fiancé Ryan Petersen and her Hens. “I would probably be sitting with them yelling at someone else playing, but this is much better. By the way, how cute is George’s baby?” Kuhl was not happy with his lane. He claimed that there were some dips in the wood. “This is horse shit” he said while trying not to throw things (besides bowling balls). “So are the handicaps!” But in an astounding twist of fate – had there been NO handicap, Kuhl and Weaver would have tied with a 110 each! In addition to the same score, they also tied ALL of the tiebreaking criteria: 1 strike / 1 spare / 0 gutters. League officials said afterwards that they would have no idea what the 4th tie breaker would have been had she not won with the handcap. “Fist fight, I guess,” said Mark Eadicicco.

In a classy twist, Kuhl stayed on to coach Weaver through her second game
...that was the only game she lost that day.

The second round featured the 4th, 6th, 7th, and 8th seeds, a first for the league. Most assumed that Kevin Rogers and Geoff Celis would advance to the Munson Cup Final…and they assumed correctly. After bowling 3 games, Weaver would begin to fade while throwing a 112 to Celis’ 137. Although Rogers would throw his lowest game of the night, Derwin could not get out of his own way, losing 142 to 127. “It was great to breathe the air up there in the semi-finals.” Derwin said while walking towards the bathroom. “Why are you following me to the bathroom?”

See what we mean about Leigh? She won't put it down.

The final round featured 4th seed vs 6th seed, Geoff Celis vs Kevin Rogers. Celis, as reigning champion, should have shaken Rogers in his first Finals appearance. Unfortunately for Celis, this was not the case. In a 178 to 122 blow out, Rogers even threw 2 strikes in his “victory lap” 10th frame. One of the strikes was such a haphazard toss, some took offense to it saying he was “shoving it in Geoff’s face.” “It looked like he was shoving it in his face.” Mike Dillon said. “A real face shove, if you will,” Tara Meiners said, as she held her boyfriends crutches. “Shoving,” Phil Cadaver chimed in.

Whether in euphoria or distain, they all watched a new champion be crowned. There has not been a repeat Munson Cup champion to date. Will there be another new winner? Find out next time!

Other notables for the evening include:

*Your Staten Island chapter’s regular season award winners:

                      -       Helen Dillon Memorial Trophy (Most Strikes) – Sean Kuhl (28)
                      -       Fred Glasier Memorial Trophy (Most Spares) – Sean Kuhl (45 *New Record*)
                      -       Most Mediocre Bowler Pin – Matt Wilson (115.3 AVG)
                      -       Rookie of the Year – James Ciccone (141.3 AVG)

*Kevin Rogers had a year to remember. He finished with a scratch average of 94.2 during his rookie year in 2013-14. In the last 12 months, Rogers made it to the 2nd round of the 2015 RLMCC, won the 2014-15 Fred Glasier Memorial Award for most spares during the regular season, the 2015 MBA Chapter Invitational, the 2015 Great Divide with Dave Derwin, the 2016 Caucasian Open, and of course, the 2016 Munson Cup. We assume things can only go down from here.

*The 5th MBA season starts up in September of this year. We have a few special things planned, including some new merchandise to celebrate. We will also be adding some more trophies to clog your apartment shelves with. More than anything, we HOPE to get another chapter out there. If you know anyone who might be interested in running one in another town, let us know! Sign ups for next year will be open sooner rather than later this time around. We will keep everyone posted. See you at the beach. If not, we’ll see you at the banner raising at Mother Pugs Saloon in September. And as always, thanks for playing!

2016HonorableMunsonLeaderSheet.docx

2016MediocreCupLeaderSheet.docx

2016MunsonLeaderSheet.docx

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Mar 17, 2016

Playoffs: 2016 Roy L. Munson Chapter Championship Preview!

MBA CHAPTER - STATEN ISLAND, NY

With our final event of the 2015-16 MBA season approaching, we spoke to our Las Vegas experts about their expections for the league's ultimate event. One man, who has lost a bunch of money over the years betting on the MBA, asked to remain anonymous for his interview. "I think we will have our first repeat winner in Munson Cup history." he said. The man, who looked homeless, then went on a tangant about aliens for 20 minutes before pissing his pants. 

After that ordeal, we here in the league offices decided to write our own preview. Here are the straight facts:

1) Sean Kuhl vs 8) Honorable Munson Wild Card Winner

Kuhl has been in this situation before. Last season, he dispatched of Leigh Janicki while the season before he dispatched of Ryan Petersen. While this sounds expected of a 1st overall seed, Kuhl has been known the play down to the competition. Both times, the Wild Card winner only lost by a few pins. Will the tables finally turn? Kuhl had a phenominal season taking home both the Helen Dillon Memorial Trophy (most strikes with 28) & the Fred Glasier Memorial Trophy (most spares with a new record of 45.)

2) Mike Dillon vs 7) Dan Derwin

A rematch of the 2014 first round match up where they were the 4th and 5th seeds, respectively. Dillon threw 4 straight strikes to eliminate Derwin, while establishing a league record 7 strikes thrown in one playoff game. Derwin has not been back to the top 7 since, but that is the least of his concerns. Having won the Dude Award in November's Knock'em Back Masters, he will have to choose to either play in the Mediocre Cup Finals or as the 7th seed in the first round of the RLMCC.

3) James Ciccone vs 6) Kevin Rogers

Rookie of the Year James Ciccone is going for the championship in his first career season. Standing in his way is Kevin Rogers, who has established himself as one of the chapter's top bowlers after a very mediocre first season in 2013-14. Rogers eliminated Justin Krstinic in the first round of last year's tournament 171 to 170 in a game that is still talked about today. Rogers had taken a red eye flight home from Texas to make sure he didnt miss the final event.

4) Geoff Celis vs 5) J.R. Marotte

Geoff Celis is coming off a championship season. J.R. Marotte is coming off his couch. Make no mistake, Marotte has it in him to have the game of his life at any given moment. Celis, who only took part in the league minimum 3 events to qualify for the tournament, threw a 97 in his first game of last months T.D.K. Memorial Tournament. Have the mighty fallen? We will find out this Sunday.

Prediction: Somebody wins and many lose.

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Mar 14, 2016

Wrap Up: Mike Dillon takes Memorial, Top 7 for Playoffs Announced!

MBA CHAPTER - STATEN ISLAND, NY

There is a time for mourning, and there is a time for winning. At the 2016 Theodore Donald Kerabatsos Memorial Tournament, there was both.

The last regular season gameday is always an edge-of-your-seat event. The league leaderboard shuffles like wild fire, and members fight to jump into the top 7, or hold on to their spot if they’re already there. “I always have pretty great years, but I’ve never won any hardware,” said MBA League Official Keith Paras from his office phone. “If I can slip into the top 7, I think I'll take it all.” (He didn't.)

But he did bowl pretty pretty pretty pretty good

The Staten Island chapter members left it all on the lanes. For 3 grueling games, people cursed their fellow lane mates while drinking copious amounts of beer, sangria and hastily made White Russians. From the outset, it was known that Mike Dillon would be tough competition. Bowling a 207 in his first game, he would only need to be mediocre to finish the job. And he delivered on both promises by winning the whole event with a very pedestrian 123 and 138 in games 2 and 3, respectively. Briefly leaving the competition feeling like they still had a chance. “I have a chance,” said Phil Cadaver while staring at his shoe laces. (He didn’t.)

1

The closest player to come near Dillon would be Sean Kuhl, who bowled a very steady 156, 150, 151 for a 152.3 AVG. Although this would inevitably lift Sean to the top spot on the leaderboard, the T.D.K. hardware would slip through his fingers to Dillon's 156 event average. He took the loss hard. “Somebody threw my bean bag in the trash. I think it was Mike (Dillon).” 


And this was before he even realized Dan Derwin jumped him for his playoff spot... 

The biggest surprise of the night wasn’t the way the event itself finished, but that Commissioner Dan Derwin, who finished with a 143 AVG, jumped over former champ Justin Krstinic for the coveted 7th and final seed in the Roy L. Munson Chapter Championship this month. Krstinic, who was witnessed by several people to be running back and forth between his own lane and that of his girlfriend’s, obviously couldn’t juggle both tasks. “This is my first year in the Honorable Munson Wild Card round, and hopefully it’ll be my last.” Krstinic said while chewing on a pencil. “Actually, I have to win it first.”

We will find out who wins what, in the 4th season's ultimate conclusion on March 20th!


"I think I'm going to use this as my ball today. What is she? 8 pounds?" - Melissa Roche

Notables for the evening include:

*With the dust settling after the last leaderboard shuffling, the top 7 spots for this years RLMCCC have been revealed! Congratulations to:

 *Mike Calascibetta, who showed up to the event like a proud father with a new, freshly drilled bowing ball, wasn’t the first one to use it. Melissa Roche, thinking that it was an alley ball, used it for her turn prior to Calascibetta’s. She knocked down 9 pins in her first frame, so at least the ball had luck but when it was Calascibetta’s turn to use it, he threw TWO gutters in the 1st frame. “I’ve never seen anything like it.” He said. Roche has stated via press release that the ball recognizes her as its true master and she plans on using it throughout the duration of her MBA career.


She couldn't throw George's baby, so she went after Mike's

*A lot of bowlers had pretty excellent games to end the regular season. Looking at the score sheet, various bowlers who have been known to be the definition of mediocre had stand out nights. Examples: Jocelyn Elliott (146), Tanya Hollowchuk (150), Christine Beaton (158), Phil Cadaver (141), Dave Derwin (151), Lois Conti (131) and last but not least, Geoff Celis (97)


How do you like him now?

2016_TDK_SCORECARD.pdf

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