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Oct 9, 2018

Wrap Up: Kuhl Dynasty Continues With 4th Invitational Win In 6 Seasons

MBA CHAPTER – STATEN ISLAND, NY

The sun is gone and so is the warmth. Staten Island kicked off its 2018 MBA Chapter Invitational at Rab’s Country Lanes and it was good to see so many familiar faces. “They were familiar.” Agreed Sean Kuhl. When asked to elaborate, he didn’t.

27 bowlers made it out to the pre-season event with 10 qualifiers who would battle for the Record Attendance Award. With James Ciccone being the reigning champion, people were sizing up the competition. “I’m about 5’11” if anybody really wants to know, Ciccone added.

All is right in the world once again.

While the other bowlers pre seasoned, Game 1 was officially underway with Matt Wilson (178) Jess Kuhl (171) and Kevin Rogers (161) being the standouts. “It felt great to get my season off to a great start.” Wilson said to the cluster of media afterwards. “I know it’s not the regular season, but I don’t give a shit. A great start is a great start.” 

Game 2 had things falling more into focus. While it’s almost hereditary for MBA bowlers to fall off a little (or completely off the cliff) in their second game, Jess Kuhl put her foot through the wall with a 197 which gave her a 184 average at tournament’s end. With her second Invitational championship, she and her husband Sean have taken home 4 of the 6 September awards all time. “We own this event plain and simple.” Sean said while chasing his son Charles in circles around the bar.

They make it sound so easy, but it’s not. Attendance from the previous is paramount AND you have to win. Will anybody pull off the MBA Triple Crown (Chapter Invitational, Chapter Championship, World Tour) in the near future? Well, Jess Kuhl is off to a great start.

 

Notables for the evening include:

 

  • After the event, a handful of dedicated league members (also, hungry and bored) descended upon Mother Pugs Saloon to hang the banner of the 2018 Roy L. Munson Chapter Championship for Kevin Rogers. With pizza on site, a few snored and even fewer cheered as it was on display for all to see. "I like this event much better when it takes place on a Saturday night." Rogers said. We agree, next year when you don't win, we'll throw it on Saturday!


Staten Island's own MBA Hall of Fame...at a bar

  • We have a new website in the works, so pardon our appearance temporarily. There will be lots of functionality improvements, but unfortunately, it won’t do anything to your actual scores.
  • The regular season kicks off for Staten Island on Sunday October 21stat Rabs. Hope to see everyone there! Check in at 4pm. 
  • Don’t forget to follow all things Staten Island MBA via Instagram & Twitter @MBAStatenIsland

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Jan 19, 2018

Wrap Up: Team Bowling-4-Poop Stinks Up Caucasian Open, and Wins

MBA CHAPTER – STATEN ISLAND, NY

The best part about the MBA calendar is that the new year starts off with arguably the best event of the regular season: The Caucasian Open.

 

The White Russian getting it's usual ride in the dedicated motorcade

For the Staten Island chapter, a league record NINE captains were selected to represent the other 36 bowlers in a well attended event. “I almost had to go into the basement to crack open another box of Kahlua.” Said the bartender. While the members waited patiently for the long winded sign up process to get underway, teams were selected and it was time to get the two games started.

 

The cosmic 4 tiers of the leaderboard

The nine captains: Kevin Rogers, Jimmy Ciccone, Joe Tavalare, Ryan Petersen, Dan Derwin, Mike Calascibetta, Phil DiMarco, Joe Piergiovanni, & Geoff Celis.

 

Betty, the namesake of the lane's team, "admires" her "dad"

Game 1 had a lot of teams coming out of the gate strong. Rookie Darla Denise threw a 151 for Team Got My Eye On You. Catherine Picozzi bowled a 151 for Phil DiMarco’s unnamed team. Matt Wilson, on top of buying the entire season of Miami Vice on DVD from MBA Commissioner Dan Derwin, bowled a 157 for Team Bowling Bettys. “A day for the ages..” he would later tell the press. 

The team that was getting ahead of themselves was Team Bork Bjork Licc Licc. League Official Keith Paras threw an unorthodox 179. He started the day with a turkey and was very vocal about where this team could finish, as were his lane mates. “I had a great feeling last month until the very last minute, when I lost.” Paras said. “This feels different.”

Unless “Different” means “the same,” then he would be right.

Game 2 saw lane 21 begin to open up a lead that the other 8 lanes would have no chance in catching. Kevin Rogers two scores of the day were 203 and 151. Combine that with Maggi Petersen’s great day (145 & 159,) and the fact that Sean Kuhl somehow fell low enough in the standings to not be one of the top 9 captains, well, there you have it. Team Bowling 4 Poop would finish the Caucasian Open with a 140.3 average. None of the other teams made it into the 130’s. “I was concerned about bowling in a lane that was adjacent to children, but after the 2015 Roy L. Munson Chapter Championship “Princess Incident” at Showplace, this was nothing.” Rogers said.

 

Vinny Fiore claims this belt was the reason for his name ending up on the White Russian for the first time

After the final team event of the season, next month’s T.D.K. Memorial Tournament will be the final chance for the top 7 to cement themselves into regular season glory.

 

Notables for the evening include:

 

  • After an impressive 30 gutter performance in October’s Sweetness Open, Samantha Ricchione didn’t disappoint her fans this time around with a modest 9 gutter. It WAS enough for her to take home her second Gutter Trash Award in three tries. “I only threw 8 at the last event and I knew I had some work to do.” Ricchione said while clutching her trophy. “It’s great to be back on top…I think.”

 

Another on the shelf

  • Emily Peters walked away with her first Dude Award of her career. She will join Vinny Fiore, Lois Conti, and Matt Wilson (so far) in March’s Mediocre Cup Finals. “Who will win it in February?” Peters asked allowed. When nobody answered her, she walked away. Maybe she was planning on winning the other one to eliminate more competition.

 

  • A special thanks to Rabs for the neat swag. The Staten Island chapter was very happy to receive free duffle bags that we can use for bowling, the gym, or a mobile cooler. At press time, the bags were being put through rigorous tests that include open container balancing, filling the entire bag with a Moscow Mule, and for some, head wear.

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Dec 9, 2017

Wrap Up: Petersen Takes Home First Masters in Staten Island

MBA CHAPTER – STATEN ISLAND, NY

With the second regular season event of the year, members of the Staten Island chapter were wondering if someone would stop Sean Kuhl from earning a three peat in the Knock’em Back Masters. After all, it would be the second three peat in the tournament’s history. “Honestly, it wouldn’t surprise me to see Sean win again.” Chirped his own wife Jess Kuhl referring to his 25 point handicap.

 Very funny.... No really. VERY FUNNY!

Game 1 would be a strong game for Megan Gaul. She would bowl a scratch score of 133 for her best game of the season. “Who needs a handicap anymore? She said to the MBA press core after the event. Rumor has it that league officials are willing to take her at her word. Dan Fran making his league debut would throw a 139 to impress his girlfriend and decorated MBA veteran Leigh Janicki. “He thinks he figured out how this league works by watching me last season, but he has no clue.” She said.

 

The Staten Island chapter was treated to a celebrity appearance at the lanes

By the mid point of Game 2, the usual suspects were in the running for the Masters Championship, but there was a dark horse coming. Ryan Petersen, who usually has a reputation for throwing a pretty good first game and then getting drunk while collapsing on the score sheet, was staying steady enough to compete. “Once somebody told me that I had a chance to win, I was annoyed.” Petersen said while ordering his 10th pitcher. “I wasn’t annoyed that I could win, but I do better when there isn’t any pressure.”

Anybody out there hungry anymore?

Apparently, it didn’t matter. Petersen would finish the event with a 171.5 average, slipping past Sean Kuhl’s 166 average for the win while putting a stop to a dynasty in the making. While Kuhl conveniently slipped out the front door before the trophy was presented, that didn’t spoil Petersen’s excitement. “It felt nice to be at the receiving end of the boos for a change.”

 

Golden Colt Wins: Ryan 1 - Kevin 0

See everybody next week for the first team event of the season, the 2017 Great Divide!

 

Notables for the evening include:

 

  • Lois Conti took home her first Dude Award with an unusually high 115.5 median average. “I didn’t think I had a chance, but I guess too many people bowled good today.” She will join Vinny Fiore as the second entrant in the 2018 Mediocre Cup Finals in March.
  • Jared Reiter won his first Gutter Trash trophy of the season. His sister Bari graciously took it home for him. “I think I have a bunch of his on my work desk.” She said. “I will add another…”
  • With co-chapter leader Hillary Scott unable to attend, Dan Derwin called up league official Keith Paras to assist him throughout the day. He would see first hand the headache in the day to day operations. “People never have exact money!” Paras said. No, they don’t. It didn’t help that the credit card system was down. Will be good to go for the Great Divide!
  • There were 4 players making their league debuts in the month of November. After reviewing their scores, they all bowled mediocre. Welcome, Darla, Joe, Tom, and Dan!
  • Sorry for the delays everyone, but we’ve been damn busy. Leaderboards and such will be posted tomorrow in advance of next week’s event!

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Nov 4, 2017

Wrap Up: Ciccone, Rogers, Mork Take Home Sweetness Open Championship

MBA CHAPTER – STATEN ISLAND, NY

The 2017-18 season kicked off with a flourish. 9 out of 10 rookies along with 31 returning members would take part in the opening event of the MBA calendar: The Sweetness Open.

Some people complain that 3 games is a lot for a season opener, but league officials believe in throwing their bowlers right into the fire. “We, as a league, believe in throwing our bowlers right into the fire.” CEO Hillary Scott said to reporters outside of Rab’s Country Lanes.

 

Cool fries

Game 1 had the usual suspects throwing high scores early. With James Ciccone and Kevin Rogers throwing a 194 and 189 respectively, other players had some trouble shaking off the summer rust. One player in particular turned a lot of heads. Sean Kuhl, who has just about every regular season event award, bowled a mind numbing 63. “I don’t know what happened out there.” Kuhl said between games. “I even threw 3 gutters!.” Many people in attendance who knew how well Kuhl can bowl were worried about his convenient high handicap of 25 going into November’s Knock’em Back Masters where he is most likely in line for a three-peat championship. “He’s throwing his games on purpose!” said Ryan Petersen, who should have been worried about his own game.

 

A yet to be seen production from league offical Keith Paras

Game 2 had rookie Bill Seaquist bowling a 142 and Jess Kuhl (wife of alledged conspirator) throwing a strong 140 after an 88 in her first game. “I’m trying to get back to my golden form from a few years back.” She said specifically referring to her 2014 Chapter Invitational championship.

Game 3 would have the same two players finishing what they started in Game 1 and gunning for 1st place. Kevin Rogers bowled a 200, which would be the highest scratch score in Sweetness Open history displacing Sean Kuhl and Dan Derwin’s 186 from the 2013 and 2016 tournaments, respectfully. “What better way to start the season.” Rogers said while wearing a tight sweater. “I changed my flight home from Japan just to be here so I’d say I deserve it, honestly.”

James Ciccone took home the 2nd place ribbon for the first time with a solid 171 event average. “I only need a bronze ribbon now to complete my collection.”Ciccone said. “I’m not really looking forward to that one, though.” Kris Mork, who sadly heard that last comment, was seen holding up his bronze medal for the group photo. He would finish with a 156 average.

This is looking like a promising season. See everybody at the Knock’em Back Masters on November 19th where one of the league’s most cherished trophies will be on the line.

Notables for the evening include:

-       Vinny Fiore, who is NO ROOKIE after making his debut during the 2015-16 season, won his first Dude Award with a median average of 99.6. One night recently at Mother Pugs Saloon, Fiore went on about how he was excited for the season and predicted that he would win all 5 Dude Awards so he can face himself during the Mediocre Cup Finals in March. “Yup” he said.

 

The next leap forward, indeed

-       Rookie Samantha Ricchione took home her first Gutter Trash award with a legendary performance. She threw 13 strikes in her first game, breaking Melissa Roche’s regular season record of 11 in the 2013 T.D.K. Memorial Tournament and tying the all time record of 13, also thrown by Melissa in the 2017 Gutter Gauntlet playoff. Ricchione’s 30 gutters for the event smashes Heather O’Shea’s record of 20 during the 2012 Sweetness Open. “I can only go up from here.” Said Ricchione afterwards. Rumor has it, that it’s possible for her to still bowl just as badly next month.

The record shattering Gutter Trash queen in photo form

-       Hey! We have a new Instagram account for the Staten Island chapter! Follow it for crying out loud: @MBAStatenIsland – Also, if you don’t already, the league’s handle is @MediocreBowlingAssociation

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Sep 12, 2017

Wrap Up: Ciccone Comes Back to Win Invitational

MBA CHAPTER – STATEN ISLAND, NY

The MBA preseason isn’t just a time to bowl again, it’s a time to see some familiar faces. This doesn’t mean you will be happy about it.

 

So pumped for the season

The 2017 MBA Chapter Invitational kicked off for the Staten Island chapter at the familiar Rabs Country Lanes. Only 3 months removed from the World Tour, 25 bleary eyed members made their way into the High Roller’s Lounge. 14 of them would qualify for the Record Attendance trophy for, yes, attending all 5 regular season events from last year. “I’m in it to win it...possibly.” Claimed Megan Gaul. The rest of the bums were there just to spread their wings after some time off. “It’s true…I’m a bum.” Decried Lois Conti.

 

The players that weren't in contention were so happy to be bowling

As the first two throws of the 2017-18 season were heard across the lanes, it couldn’t have been more perfect. Keith Paras threw a strike to get things started, while Joe Seluga threw a gutter ball. “Ying and yang, ebony and ivory, optimism and pessimism.” Said Paras as he then watched his Game 1 score hit the skids. “It all evens out in the end, though.”

 

Strike & Gutter: The Story of the MBA

Speaking of Game 1, Ryan Petersen would finish with the highest score of 151. Following close behind was chapter leader Dan Derwin with a 136. Walking on air, Petersen would do a myriad of machine gun finger blasts towards the peanut gallery. Though, he would eventually run out of bullets since his finger was broken.

 

The finger didnt seem to be an issue for Ryan in Game 1....explain Game 2?

Game 2 saw plenty of major momentum shifts. 2017 Roy L. Munson Chapter Championship runner up Kris Mork saw an uptick of 69 pins to bring his Game 2 score to 178. James Ciccone followed suit with a 74 pin uptick to a 184 in Game 2. This would be just enough to sneak past Dan Derwin for the Invitational Championship with a final average of 147 to Derwin’s 145.5. “No, I’m not happy.” Derwin said afterwards. “It’s probably the hardest trophy to win since you have to not only have perfect attendance the season prior, but you need to attend THIS event AND win it.” Ciccone shook the big loser’s hand and accepted his trophy. “Onto the shelf it goes!” he said.

 

Next month’s Sweetness Open is the official “kickoff” to the regular season. Scores will count, pressure will mount, and it’ll be 7 degrees cooler than it was in September. Also, sign ups for the coming season are STILL OPEN, but the last day to do so will be on September 30th. Let your friends and family know! Also, sign up yourself if you are a lazy bastard.

 

Notables for the evening include:

 

  • League Official Mark Eadicicco claimed he bowled the best game of his life, even though he didn’t qualify for the event. “Of course this would be the day that it gets wasted.” It was so overlooked, that the media can’t even find a record of what the score was. Oh well.
  • While members of the MBA stood by eating, drinking, and bowling like shit, witnesses claimed to have seen a “real league” holding a meeting before they were getting started. Without naming sources, there were claims of “people listening” and “paying attention.” League officials have told the press that they will look into these ideas full throttle. Maybe something can be learned and applied within its own operations.
  • George Karyczak showed up to the alley expecting to be in contention for the Record Attendance award. While noticing he wasn’t on the list, he recalled how during the T.D.K. Memorial Tournament, he left early and did not play his third game. After raising his voice once or twice, the chapter leaders Dan & Hillary simply complied with him and said “whatever.” Karyczak, who did not take advantage of his newfound opportunity, finished with scores of 74 and 109.
  • Phil DiMarco, who was a no show at the Invitational, was ALSO a no show for his own banner raising ceremony at Mother Pugs Saloon following the event. There was a rumor of him having to work, but fellow members would prefer to think that he just blew everybody off. When told that the event would be postponed and follow the Sweetness Open on October 15th, everybody scoffed. “Maybe I’LL blow it off” and “Fuck him” can be heard at varying levels of volume.

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Mar 25, 2017

Wrap Up: DiMarco Dominates Munson Cup Chapter Championship

MBA CHAPTER – STATEN ISLAND, NY

The playoffs are a time to reflect upon a season that may or may not have gone your way. Your accomplishments or lack there were plentiful. The 2017 Playoffs for the Staten Island chapter were under way at Rabs Country Lanes.

The Honorable Munson Wild Card and it’s 26 players started things off. Almost immediately, it was apparent that the trophy was going to either chapter leader Dan Derwin or Joe Tavalare, who hadn’t left an open frame through 6. Derwin would go one frame further and win the nail biter 179 to 164. The two of them shook hands after the game. “I didn’t want to look up at the screen to see who else was close.” The former Rookie of the Year Tavalare told the press. It was at this time, Derwin slapped him with the trophy hand and began chest bumping him in front of the cameras. “I don’t know what came over me.” Derwin said, clearly drunk.

Next, the Mediocre Cup Finals. While regular season winners Justin DeCrescenzo and Christine Beaton (still recovering after giving birth to her spanking new baby) were absent, Brandon Herman, Megan Gaul, and Kayte Mosley took to the lane for the battle of the middle people. It was close in the beginning, but the final scores would tell the story with a 131, 82, and 118, respectively. “To hold the Mediocre Cup in my arms, like Leigh Janicki and Matt Meinzer before me, is a dream come true.” Herman would say post game. “I will cherish this until the start of next season.”

Finally, to the Roy L. Munson Chapter Championship. For the first time in league history, a rookie would finish at the top of the leaderboard. Phil Demarco was brooding with confidence as he strutted into the alley looking like he walked off the set of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Kris Mork and Mike Contardo were also new faces in the top 7. Mork, who broke the league record with 50 spares in a season, won the Fred Glasier Memorial Award. Contardo snuck into the top 7 due to Mike Dillon being unable to attend the event.

Due to a fire in the league’s office, most of the first round’s scores were lost. What WASN’T lost, was the fact that Dan Derwin, Mike Contardo, James Ciccone, and the reigning champion Kevin Rogers were all eliminated. League officials believe the fire was started deliberately, but the 7 empty gas cans weren’t proof enough.

The second round had one big upset, with 5th seed Kris Mork taking down 2nd seed Sean Kuhl 165 to 149. “I’m the San Jose Sharks of the MBA.” Kuhl said while putting his regular shoes back on. While Kuhl has one most of the other trophies, the Munson Cup will have to wait for another year…maybe. Phil Dimarco would lay the hammer down on the 2012 champ Mike Calascibetta with a final score of 167 to 134. “It felt good to be back in the playoffs.” He said afterwards.

The final pitted two rookies against each other for the first time ever. 1 seed vs 5 seed. While this match up had the potential to be thrilling, it was pretty much over before it started. Dimarco started off with a turkey and a spare in the first 4 frames, while Mork was off to a much slower start. Dimarco was a man possessed for the rest of the game finishing with 184 to 115. Dimarco would walk away that day with the First Overall, Rookie of the Year, and the elusive Munson Cup. “I think I’ve officially peaked.” He said. “When my banner goes up at Mother Pugs Saloon this fall, I might cry.”

Either way, the league benefitted from having two rookies represent the chapter in the final. It just shows that ANYBODY CAN WIN / or lose. Thanks to everybody who joined us for our 5th season. We hope everyone has a great summer and we look forward to having you all back next year!

Notable for the evenings include:

*Nothing really….Sign up for the MBA World Tour this coming April! We will be facing off against the two expansion chapters for the end all be all of glory. You can read up about it and sign up HERE. The deadline is April 8th, for the tournament that takes place on Saturday April 22nd at Rabs Country Lanes.

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Feb 27, 2017

Kuhl Wins His First T.D.K. Memorial in Staten Island - Top 7 Announced!

MBA CHAPTER – STATEN ISLAND, NY

 It was a bit unlike any of the Theodore Donald Kerabatsos Memorial Tournaments in league history. With 65 degrees in February and a meager 28 out of 61 attendees, people were very confused. “I think I should have gone to the beach.” Claimed Charley Aspatola.

 

The February haul

While the snow melted aggressively outside of Rabs Country Lanes, the 5th annual Memorial Tournament was underway with 3 games. While the top 5 players on the leaderboard were pretty much cemented, the 6th and 7th seeds were pretty much up for grabs between 7 people.

 Game 1 had a few people who stood above the rest. James Ciccone, who is usually on his game, bowled a 167. Dan Derwin also had a solid first game with a 161. The stand out game came from Keri Sheeheen who bowled a 182. “It’s true.” She said afterwards.

 

While Ryan Petersen has clearly moved on from his experience representing Mother Pugs Saloon at Punk Rock Bowling 2016 in Asbury Park, George Karyczak has not

In Game 2, former champion Mike Calascibetta had a resurgent game that harked back to glory days gone past. Bowling a 161, Calascibetta dreamed of the day when he held the Roy L. Munson cup above his head in the league’s inaugural season. “I still get asked for autographs.” He said while looking at pictures from 5 years ago on his cell phone. “Now, I’m just trying to get into the top 7.”

 

"This is how you throw a ball!" "I know, I had a great year"

Game 3 had the ever villainous Sean Kuhl bowling a 174 to give him an event average of 155.6. This victory gives Kuhl every regular season trophy except for December’s Great Divide. “I’m running out of shelf space, but there will always be room for the elusive Munson Cup.” Kuhl said. Kuhl, has historically played down to the competition during the March Badness season.

 

Not today, though. He will get to enjoy this new addition to his collection, the Pour Donny. We’ll see what happens next month when it all matters.

 Notables for the evening (FINAL STANDINGS TOO YOU BOZOS!) include:

 

  • With Mike Contardo absent and former Rookie of the Year Joe Tavalare having a rough event, Mike Calascibetta DID INDEED make into the Top 7 for the Roy L. Munson Chapter Championship next month along with Kris Mork, who had an amazing event with 8 spares in Game 3 and 16 overall which broke the TDK record set by Mark Eadicicco in 2015 with 15. “Fuck!” said Tavalare. “Yes!” squealed Mork from Lee’s Tavern postgame.

 

  • On Lane 24, there were problems reminiscent of the “Princess Stare” at Showplace Entertainment Center in 2015. With kids from Lane 23 spilling into their lane, many of the bowlers were obviously distraught. “This wasn’t just mental interference, this was physical interference.” Kevin Rogers would tell the press afterwards. At press time, Rogers finished #5 over all. Put a sock in it.

 Live from the "Princess Stare" sequel

  • Todd Currier and his girlfriend Alicia Phillips both finished with 7 gutters in the TDK Memorial Tournament, in which Currier thought he had the trophy on lock down. When Phillips threw one less strike than him (0) she took the elusive Gutter Trash out of his hands. “I was drunk on zombies and it still didn’t matter.” He said. “But at least it’s in the same house!”

 

  • Here are your regular season trophy winners: First Overall Trophy (1st Place in Regular Season) Phil DiMarco with a 157.5 AVG --- Helen Dillon Memorial Award (Most Strikes) James Ciccone with 36 --- Fred Glasier Memorial Award (Most Spares) Kris Mork with 50 --- Most Mediocre Bowler’s Pin (Median Average in Regular Season) Catherine Picozzi with a 118.8 AVG --- MBA Staten Island Chapter’s Rookie of the Year is Phil DiMarco with a 157 AVG

 

GAME LOG

 

EVENT WINNER: SEAN KUHL (155.6 AVG)

 

EVENT WINNER: XXXXX

 

EVENT WINNER: XXXXX

 

 

DUDE AWARD WINNER: MEGAN GAUL

GUTTER TRASH AWARD WINNER: ALICIA PHILLIPS

 

 

MOST STRIKES OVERALL: 9 (S. KUHL, K. ROGERS, J. CICCONE)

MOST SPARES OVERALL: 16 (K. MORK)

MOST GUTTERS OVERALL: 7 (T. CURRIER, A. PHILLIPS)

 

 

MOST STRIKES IN ONE GAME: 5 (S. KUHL, K. ROGERS, J. CICCONE)

MOST SPARES IN ONE GAME: 8 (K. MORK)

MOST GUTTERS IN ONE GAME: 5 (T. CURRIER)

 

 

HIGHEST  SCRATCH SCORE IN ONE GAME: 179 (J. CICCONE)

LOWEST SCRATCH SCORE IN ONE GAME: 59 (J. REITER)

EVENT MEDIAN SCORE: 120 AVG

 

 

MBA CHAPTER: STATEN ISLAND

EVENT DATE: 2/19/17

LOCATION: RABS COUNTRY LANES

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Jan 24, 2017

Wrap Up: Team Spare Paradise in Paradise After Caucasian Open Championship

MBA CHAPTER – STATEN ISLAND, NY

 For the first time in league history, the Caucasian Open saw a total of EIGHT captains. Averages ranging from 150.2 to 131.2 were represented. “How the hell did I end up as a captain?” asked Ryan Petersen. When he was told that both Mike Dillon and Mike Calascibetta didn’t show up, he answered with “Oh.”

 

Betty & The Hens -- Next season on FOX

With many team names ranging from “Team Positivity” to “Team Make Bowling Great Again” and even “Team Shit…Oh That Went Well” (Sounds like they named their team after the event,) The chapter was ready for it’s biggest team event of all time.

 Phil Demarco shook Game 1 to it’s foundation by bowling a 204, beating Geoff Celis’ Caucasian Open record of 189 in 2015. Leigh Janicki also broke the event record of 6 spares in one game thrown by both Mark Eadicicco and Geoff Celis in 2014 and 2016, by throwing 8. Until this year, nobody in the MBA had thrown more than 7 spares in a game. In November, Sean Kuhl threw 8. In December, Kevin Rogers threw 8, and now Janicki. “Records are falling like crazy.” Said Phil Cadaver. Thanks, Phil…

 

After Lil Leopard's theft during the offseason, league CEO Hillary Scott took action with her new beau

It must have been contagious, because Team Spare Paradise was named exactly for that reason. The whole team threw an incredible 21 spares in their first game. “Leigh started the game with 5 straight spares, and we just wanted to keep it going.” Tanya Holowchuk told the press wihle she was high fiving her captain James Ciccone. When she realized she high fived him after he failed to pick up a spare, she apologized.

 

Kayte Mosley and her gang. This is no West Side Story

In game 2, it was all about Joe Tavalare. He threw a scratch score of 205, breaking Demarco’s record within an hour only giving him a fleeting moment to enjoy his day in the sun. “Feels great to put new records in the history books.” Said the 2014-15 SI chapter Rookie of the Year. “I wish I could have done more to get my team the championship today, though.”

 

Phil Cadaver, with a timid scare and limited edition chapter shirt, bowled one of his best events

While the scores were pretty close all around, Team Spare Paradise would take home the “Big Drink” with a 132.1 average. While this would be Leigh Janicki’s THIRD time on the White Russian trophy, her teammates (Captain) James Ciccone, MBA CEO Dan Derwin, Tanya Halowchuk, and Lois Conti would have their names etched onto it for the first time. “Two months in a row I’ve won!” said Conti who was referring her Great Divide championship last month with teammate Mike Dillon. Team Positivity came in second place with a team average of 130.7. Keith Paras, both league official and member of Team Positivity, just can’t catch a break. “I’ve been in this league since the beginning and I can’t get ONE piece of hardware.” He told the traveling press while eating at Mezcals. “I’m the definition of mediocre wherein I always fall between any award that is handed out.”

 

Every asshole that won last week

With team events in the rear view mirror, we only have one more month left to find out who will end up where on the leaderboard. Then, the playoffs in March. Buckle up.

 

Notables for the evening include:

  • Brendan Herman took home his first Dude Award with an average of 125, with the median average of the event being 125.2. What is notable about this is his fiancé Kayte Mosley won her Dude Award last month. Both new members, they couldn’t believe their luck. “Now we basically get to fight to the death in March.” Herman said. Actually, it’s not like that at all, but CONGRATULATIONS!
  • Dave Derwin took home his first Gutter Trash Award of his career. With 9 gutters, he continues his career pattern of bowling super impressively or super Dudley. “I can’t put my finger on it.” Says the 2015 Great Divide Champ. “From now on I’m not going to let anybody use my marker to label their beer cups.”
  • Mark Eadicicco is not happy with his season. “Fuck this season. I’m probably going to quit.”

GAME LOG

EVENT WINNER: TEAM SPARE PARADISE (132.1 AVG)

 

EVENT WINNER: XXXXX

 

EVENT WINNER: XXXXX

 

 

DUDE AWARD WINNER: BRENDAN HERMAN

GUTTER TRASH AWARD WINNER: DAVE DERWIN

 

 

MOST STRIKES OVERALL: 9 (P. DEMARCO, J. TAVALARE)

MOST SPARES OVERALL: 10 (L. JANACKI)

MOST GUTTERS OVERALL: 9 (DAVE DERWIN)

 

 

MOST STRIKES IN ONE GAME: 6 (J. TAVALARE)

MOST SPARES IN ONE GAME: 8 (L. JANICKI)

MOST GUTTERS IN ONE GAME: 6 (DAVE DERWIN)

 

 

HIGHEST  SCRATCH SCORE IN ONE GAME: 205 (J. TAVALARE)

LOWEST SCRATCH SCORE IN ONE GAME: 46 (H. O’SHEA)

EVENT MEDIAN SCORE: 125.2

 

 

MBA CHAPTER: STATEN ISLAND

EVENT DATE: 01/15/2017

LOCATION: RABS COUNTRY LANES

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Dec 22, 2016

Wrap Up: Dillon and Conti With Great Victory At S.I. Great Divide

MBA CHAPTER – STATEN ISLAND, NY

 The holidays bring forth many feelings of cheer and good will. Fortunately, you won’t find an ounce of it during a sanctioned MBA event.

 The 2016 Great Divide for the Staten Island chapter was no different. On Sunday, 40 bowlers were paired up via the leaderboard. The best player played with the worst, second best with second worst, and so forth. With both Phil Dimarco and Sean Kuhl absent, members were exciting to get a leg up in the competition. “Anytime Sean isn’t here, the sun feels a little bit warmer on our faces.”  Matt Wilson said. “I think you’re just hungover.” Ashley Dalle chimed in.

 The 2016 "Great" Divide on Staten Island

Game 1 held a lot of the usual trash talking and reluctant high fiving between partners that were formed by the math only. League Official Keith Paras didn’t even realize that his partner was Kerri Sheheen until the middle of game 2. “Maybe if he gave me some moral support, I could have bowled better.” Sheheen said between bites of Christmas cookies she found on the floor. Joe Contardo and Jess Dillon were one of the surprise pairs to get off to a good start with each bowling a 149 and 158, respectively. Todd Currier and Mike Calascibetta also had a great first game with scores of 170 and 136, respectively. “I knew White Devil wouldn’t let me down.” Currier said while showing people pictures of his cats. “It was Game 2 that was going to worry me.”

 Trophies, stats, and poisioned Christmas Cookies on display

When Game 2 began, Mike Dillon and Lois Conti weren’t exactly tearing the paint off the pins. With Game 1 scores of 144 and 125, nobody gave them a real chance. “I was looking at Kevin Rogers or Jimmy Ciccone’s teams to finish off this event with a trophy with the way their team was going.” Rookie Emily Peters told the MBA press. “Somebody hold my baby while I get another pitcher.” Was also overheard from George Karyczak nearby.

 
Rabs, too, tried to poison us. Sorry, but we'll be back next month.

With Dillon’s ability to turn it on at the right time, his 189 combined with Conti’s strong 145 gave them a final average of 150.7. This would be Dillon’s first Great Divide championship, and Conti’s first league trophy all around. “I’m so happy, that I’m going to build a shelf for this when I get home.” Conti said as the camera flashes were going off. “Actually, I’ll just have Phil (Cadaver) do it for me.” Phil the Shelf Builder could not be reached for comment at press time.

 With one more (massive) team event coming in January, it’ll be important for members to hang onto that partnership quality for one more month before not giving a shit about anyone but themselves come January.

 Notable events for the evening include: 

  • Although Kayte Mosley came very close to winning the Great Divide with her partner James Ciccone when they finished with a 147.7 average, Mosley did end up winning the Dude Award for having night’s median average. In her two months with the MBA, has a Gutter Trash Award from the Knock’em Back Masters, and now a Dude. “It’s insane how well I’m doing.” Mosley said. While the jury would say that she didn’t do WELL to earn those awards, we won’t take anything away from her until she reads this paragraph at it’s publishing.

 Mosley showing off her Dude Award while Ciccone not only goes home empty handed, but can't even take a picture correctly

  • Team Starbies burned out like a Frappa Nova in this event. Dan Derwin, who bowled a career worst 109 and 101, couldn’t be consoled after the event. His partner Heather Paras, who was seen being overly comforting towards his struggles, had a decent night by her standards. “I brought him down to my level.” Paras said. “I hope we’re on the same team for the Caucasian Open!”

 

 

GAME LOG

 

EVENT WINNER: MIKE DILLON (166.5 AVG)

 

EVENT WINNER: LOIS CONTI (135 AVG)

 

EVENT WINNER:

 

 

DUDE AWARD WINNER: KAYTE MOSLEY

GUTTER TRASH AWARD WINNER: JARED REITER

 

 

MOST STRIKES OVERALL: 9 (J. CICCONE)

MOST SPARES OVERALL: 14 (K. ROGERS)

MOST GUTTERS OVERALL: 8 (J. REITER)

 

 

MOST STRIKES IN ONE GAME: 5 (J. CICCONE)

MOST SPARES IN ONE GAME: 8 (K. ROGERS)

MOST GUTTERS IN ONE GAME: 6 (J. REITER)

 

 

HIGHEST  SCRATCH SCORE IN ONE GAME: 189 (M. DILLON)

LOWEST SCRATCH SCORE IN ONE GAME: 61 (J. REITER)

EVENT MEDIAN SCORE: 126

 

 

MBA CHAPTER: STATEN ISLAND

EVENT DATE: 12/18/2016

LOCATION: RABS COUNTRY LANES

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Dec 2, 2016

Wrap Up: Kuhl Starts New Streak With Second Straight Masters Win


The winners circle..."I was winning for two..." Christine Beaton was quoted 
after the event at Lee's Pizza

MBA CHAPTER – STATEN ISLAND, NY

Mike Calascibetta was pretty positive that he was going to shake off last years loss easily and get back to his impressive winning ways for November’s Knock’em Back Masters. “This is my first event of the season so even though there are people who say that I’ll be rusty, I say to them that I will be POWERFUL.” Calascibetta told the MBA press in the parking lot on the way in.

Would he fulfill his prophecy?

With the games underway, players were excited to play for the Big Lebrewski, arguably the league’s fanciest trophy. Newcomer Charley Aspatola commented on it while walking by. “They sell those at the bar?” he was heard asking to anyone who would listen.  Game 1 saw a few stand out scores. Sean Kuhl (193), Joe Contardo (162) and Phil DeMarco (160) to name a few. Contardo, who threw a 98 and 81 in his first two games of his MBA career in October, was the most improved by a long shot. “I’m trying to figure out this league.” He said while finishing a disgusting pumpkin flavored beer. “There is a lot of pressure when you’re trying to be the best…or is it the worst?”


Picture proof that Sara Eadicicco isn't a dirty dirty liar about her impressive hambone!
Seeing is believing...

Game 2 saw “The ladies with handicaps” make a statement. Chapter leader Hillary Scott (165) Sara Eadicicco (164) Bari Reiter (162) Jessica Dillon (156) Catherine Picozzi (153) to name a few. The event in general saw a lot of streaks as well. There would be 4 turkeys thrown (S. Kuhl, K. Rogers, M. Dillon, H. Scott) as well as 1 ham bone which is 4 strikes in a row (S. Eadicicco.)


League officials, especially Marf Eadicicco were eager to pitch in with the scorecards this month,
so there were slightly less mistakes! PROGRESS.

The numbers wouldn’t lie in the end. While Phil DeMarco would become the runner up with a 163.5 average, he would come 13 ½ points short of Sean Kuhl’s impressive victory. “A new streak has begun!” Kuhl said to cameras afterwards. “Now it’s MY turn to try and win a 3rd straight Golden Colt.” In 5 years, the event has only had 2 winners. A very impressive narrative for the November Classic that doesn’t seem to be going away. Except Calscibetta. It seems that he went away. “No comment.” He could be heard saying as he collided with every car in his way driving out of the very same parking lot he felt so confident walking through earlier.

 

Other notables for the evening include:

*Mike and Jess Dillon’s 7 month old Sadie was the toast of the alley as player could be seen rubbing their hands on her head for luck. MBA commissioner Dan Derwin was seen kissing her on the top of the head before throwing his ball in frame 7 of the second game. When he only knocked down a few pins, he was over heard cursing at the baby. Alley security had to take Derwin to the back room and teach him some manners.


Good Luck Dillon in action!


"Well fuck..." - Dan Derwin

*After a scoring mix up last month, it emerged that Jimmy Ciccone was actually the rightful heir to the first place ribbon from the Sweetness Open. He and Chapter Leader, Dan Derwin, shook hands like gentlemen and swapped prizes before the start of the Knock 'Em Back. "I'm not giving it back next time, tough titties" said Dan Derwin to the Gutter Trash Trophy, since no one else would listen. Here's hoping for less scoring errors in the future.

*Staten island chapter member Matt Meinzer has thrown his last ball (hopefully temporarily) for the Medicore Bowling Association. As of the beginning of December, he will be moving to Ecuador. Although he couldn’t be reached for comment, we wish him the best in his endeavors below the equator. We hear it’s a wonderful bowling city. At press time, we have no idea where we heard that from.


This is where I would put a picture of Matt Meinzer, but we didn't have one

EVENT WINNER: SEAN KUHL (177 AVG) 

 

DUDE AWARD WINNER: CHRISTINE BEATON (116.5 AVG)

GUTTER TRASH AWARD WINNER: KAYTE MOSELEY (13)

 

 

MOST STRIKES OVERALL: K. ROGERS (10)

MOST SPARES OVERALL: S. KUHL (13)

MOST GUTTERS OVERALL: K. MOSELEY (13)

 

 

MOST STRIKES IN ONE GAME: 6 (P. DEMARCO)

MOST SPARES IN ONE GAME: 8 (S. KUHL)

MOST GUTTERS IN ONE GAME: 8 (K. MOSELEY)

 

 

HIGHEST  SCRATCH SCORE IN ONE GAME: 189 (S. KUHL)

LOWEST SCRATCH SCORE IN ONE GAME: 44 (J. KELLER)

EVENT MEDIAN SCORE:119.3

 

 

MBA CHAPTER: STATEN ISLAND

EVENT DATE: 11/20/2016

LOCATION: RABS COUNTRY LANES

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