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Jan 3, 2016

Wrap Up: Rogers, Derwin SPARE No Expense in Great Divide Win


The article title might not make much sense, but we had puns to SPARE

There is no “I” in “TEAM”, but there is no “WE” either. When players are paired up, more often than not the chemistry ends up being mediocre at best. THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT WE ARE GOING FOR.

The Staten Island Chapter’s 2015 Great Divide was no different. Upon pairing, some players awkwardly shook hands with their respective partners, others hugged (and even kissed!) before the games commenced. Keith Paras and Gabriel Reiter were one of the teams that were loudly high fiving and some say even came close to bro-hugging. “You have to be there for your partner when he comes off the lane following a strike or a spare,” Paras said. “When he throws a gutter, that’s when you can give them the cold shoulder – its called tough love.” The duo would end the day with a very respectable 131.5 team average (and a definite bro-hug).

Several complaints were filed with Rabs management regarding Keith Paras' lewd and lascivious behavior with the bowling balls. Mediocre Bowling Association takes this matter seriously and apologizes to anyone on the surrounding lanes offended. Next month, just bro-hugs.

Another team that was making a lot of noise were the (self-dubbed) Sanitation Sensations Dan Derwin and George Karyczak. Both players stayed even-keeled throughout the event. They would throw within 4 pins of each other in BOTH games. “Whatever one of us would throw, the other would follow.” Karyczak said with a pitcher of beer in each hand. “This only backfired when both of us were throwing gutters.”

They're sensational.............

Derwin and Karyczak were confident as the scores were being tallied at the end of the day that their 136.2 team average would hold up as most of the final averages up until then were well below 130. But it was too good to be true, as they say. Kevin Rogers and his consigliore Dave Derwin would finish under the radar with a dynamic 139.2 average. By looking at the box score, most would wonder how a team throwing only TWO strikes in 4 games would be able to win the December Classic. A combined 39 handicap sure does help, but league officials pointed to the combined 17 spares thrown as a team (10 by Derwin himself) as the main culprit of their success. “We had quite a mess to clean up after our first few throws.” Rogers said in a post-game interview at the Nurnberger Bierhalle with (yet another 15-16 Season) trophy proudly in hand. “I had my lefty hook going tonight.” Derwin chimed in, close at hand while downing a tray of victory french fries.

And now these two players, teaming up for the first time, winning their first regular season event, will live in the record books…together…forever.

Speaking of things that last forever, Jen Grunwald got her new ball drilled and
engraved prior to the last event! Isn't it purdy????

Other notables for the evening include:

*Jessica Dillon would not let her pregnancy stand in the way of her quest for victory. Although she ended up bowling by herself in the Great Divide, according to the League rule of not having played yet this season and having an odd number of attendees, she made it clear she was bowling for two. With the assistance of a ball ramp, she made her family proud. “To be honest, I’m upset the league didn’t provide me with the dinosaur model, it has a little bit more pizazz.” Mrs. Dillon said in the locker room. According to sources, the dinosaur ramp was spotted on Lane 3 being used by a bowler named “Mayhem.”

Practicing for when their kid wants to go bowling..."Then I AM getting the dinosaur...for real."

*In the spirit of the holiday season, Rabs Country Lanes’ resident Santa Claus provided all MBA members with 20th Anniversary Rab’s sip cups. While some believe that it was shameless promotion, alley owner Frank Wilkinson claims that gift was 100% well intentioned. “We love having the Mediocre Bowling Association here!” Wilkinson said. “Our hope is that anytime they use the cup in the future, they will drop what they are doing, and go bowling……HERE.” Thanks Rabs!

Back to back Gutter Trash winner Jared Reiter is giving Heather O' Shea
(a.k.a. DJ Gutter Trash) a run for her money 

*It isn’t often than finding a winner for the Gutter Trash is so difficult, but this month 4 people were so bad they tied for the coveted monthly hardware! According to League rules, in the case of a Gutter Trash tie, the winner is whoever throws the least strikes (then least spares, and finally, if needed, has the lowest score). But all that wasn’t necessary as only one contender threw zero strikes and for the second month in a row Jared Reiter walked away with the Gutter Trash victoriously. This entitles him to the use of bumpers in one of his games at the next event, but as he declined to use them this month, we expect a repeat performance at the next event. “If I use the bumpers, how will I qualify for the Gutter Trash again?” Reiter could be heard reasoning to his siblings in the league. You know what? He has a point.

*NEW! Now each month you can download your very own copy of the event scoresheet to see how you did, and also a copy of the Event Leadersheet (which gives you a look at who scored the highest, threw the most strikes, spares, etc). For a look at the Career Event Leadersheet for the event (all time records) you can download that from the Chapter page HERE!