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Jan 13, 2016

Captains Chosen For The 2016 Caucasian Open

Newly parented, league sources believe the Karyczaks will not be attending the 2016 Caucasian Open. Sources also say that members don't mind.


Do you feel that chill in the air? No, that is not Old Man Winter. It's the ice cold pressure of yet another Caucasian Open coming up this Sunday. Depending on attendance of course, there will be anywhere from 5-7 captains representing their own crew of schlubs who's only goal will be to win the controversial White Russian trophy. These "miscreants" are chosen from various skill groups based on performance so far this season. The captains are chosen from the top players on the latest leaderboard. 7 captains would be the most ever chosen for a Caucasian Open. Out of sheer laziness and pessimism, let's assume we only have 5 captains. Here are a few notes regarding these "people:"

1) MIKE DILLON - 151.3 AVG - A veteran of the MBA, Dillon has seen his share of victories on the battlefield. Mostly remembered for losing two years in a row to the eventual Roy L. Munson Chapter Champion in 2013 & 2014, Dillon has "been there, done that" in the Caucasian Open. His "Team Hard Drugs" took home the inaugural championship in 2013 and there is no doubt he will be looking for his second big drink.

2) GEOFF CELIS - 149 AVG - The latest Munson Cup champion will be looking for his first White Russian trophy. He captained a team in 2014 to no avail. Celis hasnt bowled since October's Sweetness Open, in which he won the gold medal. Confirmed to attend this Sunday, Celis needs to show up to this month's tournament as well as next month's TDK Memorial Tournament to qualify for the playoffs in March.

3) SEAN KUHL - 140.6 AVG - A captain for the 4th Caucasian Open in a row, steering "No Surf Boards" to a championship in 2014, Kuhl is obviously no stranger to this comminist tournament. His biggest challenge might be having to split the household and deal with #5 on the next lane for the first time in his career.

4) JAMES CICCONE - 138 AVG - The only rookie to captain a team, Ciccone will be bowling for the first time since October's Sweetness Open, the same as Geoff Celis. He also won a medal (silver,) just like Geoff Celis. As much as it would warm our hearts for them to be teamates, this CANNOT HAPPEN. Sorry for yelling. We expect Ciccone to rile up his teamates in an effort to shake the pressure of his first MBA team event.

5) JESS KUHL - 134.3 AVG - Well, look at what we have here. In tournaments past, we would see both Sean and Jess Kuhl secretly handshake in agreement that if either of them took home the hardware it'd be a win / win. I doubt the same will be said this Sunday. The White Russian isn't kept by the winning team, so the name plate on the trophy will be the only thing that lives on. Which Kuhl will have their name on it for a second time after both winning it together in 2014?!

* Tune in this Sunday to find out! 4pm at the Rabs Country Lanes High Rollers Bar! Take a look at the leaderboard below to get a feel of where you might end up on selection bench!