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Mar 14, 2016

Wrap Up: Mike Dillon takes Memorial, Top 7 for Playoffs Announced!


There is a time for mourning, and there is a time for winning. At the 2016 Theodore Donald Kerabatsos Memorial Tournament, there was both.

The last regular season gameday is always an edge-of-your-seat event. The league leaderboard shuffles like wild fire, and members fight to jump into the top 7, or hold on to their spot if they’re already there. “I always have pretty great years, but I’ve never won any hardware,” said MBA League Official Keith Paras from his office phone. “If I can slip into the top 7, I think I'll take it all.” (He didn't.)

But he did bowl pretty pretty pretty pretty good

The Staten Island chapter members left it all on the lanes. For 3 grueling games, people cursed their fellow lane mates while drinking copious amounts of beer, sangria and hastily made White Russians. From the outset, it was known that Mike Dillon would be tough competition. Bowling a 207 in his first game, he would only need to be mediocre to finish the job. And he delivered on both promises by winning the whole event with a very pedestrian 123 and 138 in games 2 and 3, respectively. Briefly leaving the competition feeling like they still had a chance. “I have a chance,” said Phil Cadaver while staring at his shoe laces. (He didn’t.)


The closest player to come near Dillon would be Sean Kuhl, who bowled a very steady 156, 150, 151 for a 152.3 AVG. Although this would inevitably lift Sean to the top spot on the leaderboard, the T.D.K. hardware would slip through his fingers to Dillon's 156 event average. He took the loss hard. “Somebody threw my bean bag in the trash. I think it was Mike (Dillon).” 

And this was before he even realized Dan Derwin jumped him for his playoff spot... 

The biggest surprise of the night wasn’t the way the event itself finished, but that Commissioner Dan Derwin, who finished with a 143 AVG, jumped over former champ Justin Krstinic for the coveted 7th and final seed in the Roy L. Munson Chapter Championship this month. Krstinic, who was witnessed by several people to be running back and forth between his own lane and that of his girlfriend’s, obviously couldn’t juggle both tasks. “This is my first year in the Honorable Munson Wild Card round, and hopefully it’ll be my last.” Krstinic said while chewing on a pencil. “Actually, I have to win it first.”

We will find out who wins what, in the 4th season's ultimate conclusion on March 20th!

"I think I'm going to use this as my ball today. What is she? 8 pounds?" - Melissa Roche

Notables for the evening include:

*With the dust settling after the last leaderboard shuffling, the top 7 spots for this years RLMCCC have been revealed! Congratulations to:

 *Mike Calascibetta, who showed up to the event like a proud father with a new, freshly drilled bowing ball, wasn’t the first one to use it. Melissa Roche, thinking that it was an alley ball, used it for her turn prior to Calascibetta’s. She knocked down 9 pins in her first frame, so at least the ball had luck but when it was Calascibetta’s turn to use it, he threw TWO gutters in the 1st frame. “I’ve never seen anything like it.” He said. Roche has stated via press release that the ball recognizes her as its true master and she plans on using it throughout the duration of her MBA career.

She couldn't throw George's baby, so she went after Mike's

*A lot of bowlers had pretty excellent games to end the regular season. Looking at the score sheet, various bowlers who have been known to be the definition of mediocre had stand out nights. Examples: Jocelyn Elliott (146), Tanya Hollowchuk (150), Christine Beaton (158), Phil Cadaver (141), Dave Derwin (151), Lois Conti (131) and last but not least, Geoff Celis (97)

How do you like him now?