Oct 18, 2016
Wrap Up: Sweet Tiebreaker: Ciccone Squeaks Into 1st Place Over Derwin Amid Controversy
MBA CHAPTER – STATEN ISLAND, NY
Bowling is back. The Sweetness Open is back. Drinking, however, hasn’t stopped.
The 5th Sweetness Open for the Staten Island chapter was a rousing success. New members flooded the lanes and the veterans returned in droves, tallying an incredible 42 players over all. With the latest success of expanding to two new cities, Boston and Lancaster, the League expected big things from the day but the bowling ended up being just as dreadful as usual. “The only difference today is that we didn’t get a 3 foot sandwich in the bar during the check in process,” noted Matt Wilson.
Serge'ing for a strike. Yep.
With 8 lanes busting at the seams with recklessness and overflowing pint glasses, the games began. Chapter leader Dan Derwin threw an impressive 186 in Game 1, tying the Sweetness Open’s highest score (S. Kuhl, 2013) He would also throw a turkey within the first 4 frames. James Ciccone and rookie Phil DiMarco threw impressive first games as well with a 169 and 168, respectively.
Game 2 went completely down hill for a bunch of players. Maggi Weaver in particular. The bride-to-be and EMT bowled a 86 after bowling a 153 in her first game. “I just couldn’t stop thinking of going to Lee’s Pizza after the game.” She would say between tears after the event. “Take me there now.” Fellow rookies Kris Mork and Catherine Picozzi would throw impressive second games with a 140 and 138, respectively. Picozzi would add her name to the Turkey Club in this game as well. “I don’t know what the Turkey Club is, but now I’m hungry.” She would say standing on the Genarro’s line.
Sweetness Open Memorabilia
But ask anyone and they will tell you that success in the Sweetness comes down to one thing: stamina. Game 3 is where concentration is put to the ultimate test. With rusty limbs, overzealous drinking, and attention spans drifting, people hunkered down to put a cherry on top of their awesome (or lousy) event scores. Last season’s Roy L. Munson Chapter Champion and Chapter dick, Kevin Rogers, would finish strong with a 158 in his final game. He would be seen walking back and forth amongst the lanes looking at who would be in contention for the 1st, 2nd and 3rd place Sweetness Ribbons. “That (Phil) DiMarco guy finished with a pretty good average.” Rogers would say. “We are going to have to keep an eye on him in the events to come.”
"Former" champ Kevin Rogers yells at his lady in frustation
As it would turn out, Dan Derwin and James Ciccone would both finish with a 150 average. Controversially, league officials thought that Derwin threw more strikes in the tie breaker (7 to 3) since that is how his lane’s score card was written out. Upon further review it would be Ciccone who would take home his first 1st place medal throwing 11 strikes (after coming in 2nd last year). “I’m glad the league figured out this hogwash and gave me my day in the sun.” Ciccone would say via FaceTime from his home. Derwin couldn’t be reached for comment. Witnesses say that he was seen hurling a chunk of “gold” into the Kill Van Kull while cursing violently in the wee hours.
The scorecard in question
The MBA is considering a mandatory scorekeeping class in the offseason. Somewhere between 22 hours / 6 days a week throughout the summer. We’ll see how next month’s Knock’em Back Masters goes!
Notables for the evening include:
*Keith Paras was heard saying things that could put his title of League Official in jeopardy. Throwing a 99, 90, and 76, Paras said that he was slightly throwing his game so his handicap would be high for next month’s Knock’em Back Masters. Paras, who has always stated that he wanted to win the Big Lebrewski trophy, officially put his integrity on the line. “I can’t blame bowling on my bum foot anymore, so I’m just gonna be truthful. Also, prove it.” For the record, this is the same man who ate a cucumber during games 1 and 2. “He completely distracted me during the frame where I threw two straight gutters.” George Karyczak would say. “Enough of this guy.”
"The Cucumber Chronicles"
*It seems with Jared Reiter’s absence, members were eager to get a crack this month’s Gutter Trash Award. Reiter, who had won a record breaking 4 straight awards, was ready to pass the torch. “I’m tired of them,” he’d say via text message to his sister Bari Reiter’s phone. In their excitement, some lanes were marking down gutters whenever they saw a dash on their scorecard. Lane 29 specifically, had total gutters of 13, 14, 15 to name a few. Fortunately, these were corrected on the spot. Diana Contardo would end up winning the award, with an actual 10 total gutters for the event. Matt Wilson offered to deliver her the esteemed award, sources say his car dashboard has gotten more cluttered since he took posession of it. League officials will have to confirm with Contardo next month that she received one of the most coveted trophies in the MBA arsenal.
1st PLACE EVENT WINNER: JAMES CICCONE (150 AVG)
2nd PLACE EVENT WINNER: DAN DERWIN (150 AVG)
3rd PLACE EVENT WINNER: KEVIN ROGERS (145.3 AVG)
DUDE AWARD WINNER: JUSTIN DECRESCENZO (107.6)
GUTTER TRASH AWARD WINNER: DIANA CONTARDO (10)
MOST STRIKES OVERALL: 11 (J. CICCONE)
MOST SPARES OVERALL: 14 (K. ROGERS)
MOST GUTTERS OVERALL: 10 (D. CONTARDO)
MOST STRIKES IN ONE GAME: 5 (J. CICCONE)
MOST SPARES IN ONE GAME: 7 (P. DIMARCO)
MOST GUTTERS IN ONE GAME: 6 (D. CONTARDO)
HIGHEST SCRATCH SCORE IN ONE GAME: 186 (DAN DERWIN)
LOWEST SCRATCH SCORE IN ONE GAME: 55 (J. DILLON)
EVENT MEDIAN SCORE: 107.7 AVG
MBA CHAPTER: STATEN ISLAND
EVENT DATE: 10/16/16
LOCATION: RABS COUNTRY LANES