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Sep 12, 2017

Wrap Up: Ciccone Comes Back to Win Invitational


The MBA preseason isn’t just a time to bowl again, it’s a time to see some familiar faces. This doesn’t mean you will be happy about it.


So pumped for the season

The 2017 MBA Chapter Invitational kicked off for the Staten Island chapter at the familiar Rabs Country Lanes. Only 3 months removed from the World Tour, 25 bleary eyed members made their way into the High Roller’s Lounge. 14 of them would qualify for the Record Attendance trophy for, yes, attending all 5 regular season events from last year. “I’m in it to win it...possibly.” Claimed Megan Gaul. The rest of the bums were there just to spread their wings after some time off. “It’s true…I’m a bum.” Decried Lois Conti.


The players that weren't in contention were so happy to be bowling

As the first two throws of the 2017-18 season were heard across the lanes, it couldn’t have been more perfect. Keith Paras threw a strike to get things started, while Joe Seluga threw a gutter ball. “Ying and yang, ebony and ivory, optimism and pessimism.” Said Paras as he then watched his Game 1 score hit the skids. “It all evens out in the end, though.”


Strike & Gutter: The Story of the MBA

Speaking of Game 1, Ryan Petersen would finish with the highest score of 151. Following close behind was chapter leader Dan Derwin with a 136. Walking on air, Petersen would do a myriad of machine gun finger blasts towards the peanut gallery. Though, he would eventually run out of bullets since his finger was broken.


The finger didnt seem to be an issue for Ryan in Game 1....explain Game 2?

Game 2 saw plenty of major momentum shifts. 2017 Roy L. Munson Chapter Championship runner up Kris Mork saw an uptick of 69 pins to bring his Game 2 score to 178. James Ciccone followed suit with a 74 pin uptick to a 184 in Game 2. This would be just enough to sneak past Dan Derwin for the Invitational Championship with a final average of 147 to Derwin’s 145.5. “No, I’m not happy.” Derwin said afterwards. “It’s probably the hardest trophy to win since you have to not only have perfect attendance the season prior, but you need to attend THIS event AND win it.” Ciccone shook the big loser’s hand and accepted his trophy. “Onto the shelf it goes!” he said.


Next month’s Sweetness Open is the official “kickoff” to the regular season. Scores will count, pressure will mount, and it’ll be 7 degrees cooler than it was in September. Also, sign ups for the coming season are STILL OPEN, but the last day to do so will be on September 30th. Let your friends and family know! Also, sign up yourself if you are a lazy bastard.


Notables for the evening include:


  • League Official Mark Eadicicco claimed he bowled the best game of his life, even though he didn’t qualify for the event. “Of course this would be the day that it gets wasted.” It was so overlooked, that the media can’t even find a record of what the score was. Oh well.
  • While members of the MBA stood by eating, drinking, and bowling like shit, witnesses claimed to have seen a “real league” holding a meeting before they were getting started. Without naming sources, there were claims of “people listening” and “paying attention.” League officials have told the press that they will look into these ideas full throttle. Maybe something can be learned and applied within its own operations.
  • George Karyczak showed up to the alley expecting to be in contention for the Record Attendance award. While noticing he wasn’t on the list, he recalled how during the T.D.K. Memorial Tournament, he left early and did not play his third game. After raising his voice once or twice, the chapter leaders Dan & Hillary simply complied with him and said “whatever.” Karyczak, who did not take advantage of his newfound opportunity, finished with scores of 74 and 109.
  • Phil DiMarco, who was a no show at the Invitational, was ALSO a no show for his own banner raising ceremony at Mother Pugs Saloon following the event. There was a rumor of him having to work, but fellow members would prefer to think that he just blew everybody off. When told that the event would be postponed and follow the Sweetness Open on October 15th, everybody scoffed. “Maybe I’LL blow it off” and “Fuck him” can be heard at varying levels of volume.