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Nov 4, 2017

Wrap Up: Ciccone, Rogers, Mork Take Home Sweetness Open Championship


The 2017-18 season kicked off with a flourish. 9 out of 10 rookies along with 31 returning members would take part in the opening event of the MBA calendar: The Sweetness Open.

Some people complain that 3 games is a lot for a season opener, but league officials believe in throwing their bowlers right into the fire. “We, as a league, believe in throwing our bowlers right into the fire.” CEO Hillary Scott said to reporters outside of Rab’s Country Lanes.


Cool fries

Game 1 had the usual suspects throwing high scores early. With James Ciccone and Kevin Rogers throwing a 194 and 189 respectively, other players had some trouble shaking off the summer rust. One player in particular turned a lot of heads. Sean Kuhl, who has just about every regular season event award, bowled a mind numbing 63. “I don’t know what happened out there.” Kuhl said between games. “I even threw 3 gutters!.” Many people in attendance who knew how well Kuhl can bowl were worried about his convenient high handicap of 25 going into November’s Knock’em Back Masters where he is most likely in line for a three-peat championship. “He’s throwing his games on purpose!” said Ryan Petersen, who should have been worried about his own game.


A yet to be seen production from league offical Keith Paras

Game 2 had rookie Bill Seaquist bowling a 142 and Jess Kuhl (wife of alledged conspirator) throwing a strong 140 after an 88 in her first game. “I’m trying to get back to my golden form from a few years back.” She said specifically referring to her 2014 Chapter Invitational championship.

Game 3 would have the same two players finishing what they started in Game 1 and gunning for 1st place. Kevin Rogers bowled a 200, which would be the highest scratch score in Sweetness Open history displacing Sean Kuhl and Dan Derwin’s 186 from the 2013 and 2016 tournaments, respectfully. “What better way to start the season.” Rogers said while wearing a tight sweater. “I changed my flight home from Japan just to be here so I’d say I deserve it, honestly.”

James Ciccone took home the 2nd place ribbon for the first time with a solid 171 event average. “I only need a bronze ribbon now to complete my collection.”Ciccone said. “I’m not really looking forward to that one, though.” Kris Mork, who sadly heard that last comment, was seen holding up his bronze medal for the group photo. He would finish with a 156 average.

This is looking like a promising season. See everybody at the Knock’em Back Masters on November 19th where one of the league’s most cherished trophies will be on the line.

Notables for the evening include:

-       Vinny Fiore, who is NO ROOKIE after making his debut during the 2015-16 season, won his first Dude Award with a median average of 99.6. One night recently at Mother Pugs Saloon, Fiore went on about how he was excited for the season and predicted that he would win all 5 Dude Awards so he can face himself during the Mediocre Cup Finals in March. “Yup” he said.


The next leap forward, indeed

-       Rookie Samantha Ricchione took home her first Gutter Trash award with a legendary performance. She threw 13 strikes in her first game, breaking Melissa Roche’s regular season record of 11 in the 2013 T.D.K. Memorial Tournament and tying the all time record of 13, also thrown by Melissa in the 2017 Gutter Gauntlet playoff. Ricchione’s 30 gutters for the event smashes Heather O’Shea’s record of 20 during the 2012 Sweetness Open. “I can only go up from here.” Said Ricchione afterwards. Rumor has it, that it’s possible for her to still bowl just as badly next month.

The record shattering Gutter Trash queen in photo form

-       Hey! We have a new Instagram account for the Staten Island chapter! Follow it for crying out loud: @MBAStatenIsland – Also, if you don’t already, the league’s handle is @MediocreBowlingAssociation