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Jan 19, 2018

Wrap Up: Team Bowling-4-Poop Stinks Up Caucasian Open, and Wins


The best part about the MBA calendar is that the new year starts off with arguably the best event of the regular season: The Caucasian Open.


The White Russian getting it's usual ride in the dedicated motorcade

For the Staten Island chapter, a league record NINE captains were selected to represent the other 36 bowlers in a well attended event. “I almost had to go into the basement to crack open another box of Kahlua.” Said the bartender. While the members waited patiently for the long winded sign up process to get underway, teams were selected and it was time to get the two games started.


The cosmic 4 tiers of the leaderboard

The nine captains: Kevin Rogers, Jimmy Ciccone, Joe Tavalare, Ryan Petersen, Dan Derwin, Mike Calascibetta, Phil DiMarco, Joe Piergiovanni, & Geoff Celis.


Betty, the namesake of the lane's team, "admires" her "dad"

Game 1 had a lot of teams coming out of the gate strong. Rookie Darla Denise threw a 151 for Team Got My Eye On You. Catherine Picozzi bowled a 151 for Phil DiMarco’s unnamed team. Matt Wilson, on top of buying the entire season of Miami Vice on DVD from MBA Commissioner Dan Derwin, bowled a 157 for Team Bowling Bettys. “A day for the ages..” he would later tell the press. 

The team that was getting ahead of themselves was Team Bork Bjork Licc Licc. League Official Keith Paras threw an unorthodox 179. He started the day with a turkey and was very vocal about where this team could finish, as were his lane mates. “I had a great feeling last month until the very last minute, when I lost.” Paras said. “This feels different.”

Unless “Different” means “the same,” then he would be right.

Game 2 saw lane 21 begin to open up a lead that the other 8 lanes would have no chance in catching. Kevin Rogers two scores of the day were 203 and 151. Combine that with Maggi Petersen’s great day (145 & 159,) and the fact that Sean Kuhl somehow fell low enough in the standings to not be one of the top 9 captains, well, there you have it. Team Bowling 4 Poop would finish the Caucasian Open with a 140.3 average. None of the other teams made it into the 130’s. “I was concerned about bowling in a lane that was adjacent to children, but after the 2015 Roy L. Munson Chapter Championship “Princess Incident” at Showplace, this was nothing.” Rogers said.


Vinny Fiore claims this belt was the reason for his name ending up on the White Russian for the first time

After the final team event of the season, next month’s T.D.K. Memorial Tournament will be the final chance for the top 7 to cement themselves into regular season glory.


Notables for the evening include:


  • After an impressive 30 gutter performance in October’s Sweetness Open, Samantha Ricchione didn’t disappoint her fans this time around with a modest 9 gutter. It WAS enough for her to take home her second Gutter Trash Award in three tries. “I only threw 8 at the last event and I knew I had some work to do.” Ricchione said while clutching her trophy. “It’s great to be back on top…I think.”


Another on the shelf

  • Emily Peters walked away with her first Dude Award of her career. She will join Vinny Fiore, Lois Conti, and Matt Wilson (so far) in March’s Mediocre Cup Finals. “Who will win it in February?” Peters asked allowed. When nobody answered her, she walked away. Maybe she was planning on winning the other one to eliminate more competition.


  • A special thanks to Rabs for the neat swag. The Staten Island chapter was very happy to receive free duffle bags that we can use for bowling, the gym, or a mobile cooler. At press time, the bags were being put through rigorous tests that include open container balancing, filling the entire bag with a Moscow Mule, and for some, head wear.