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Jan 29, 2019

Wrap Up: Team “Howard Dean’s Scream” Hollers Victory at Caucasian Open


Last weekend, in spite of a snow scare, the Staten Island Chapter gathered together once again to participate in, arguably, everyone’s favorite event: The Caucasian Open. 

An opportunity for the members to mingle, the event features the cream of the season’s crop divvying up the remainder of attendees into competing teams for the most ostentatious of MBA trophies, The White Russian.

With a few absences of top tier players, some shuffling ensued and seven captains emerged: 

James Ciccone, Kevin Rogers, Tom Ryan, Kris Mork, Joe Pierogiovanni, and league co-commissioners Hillary Scott and Dan Derwin. 

The captains picked their crew - having to make some tough decisions between bonds of friendship and love, versus skill. Dan Derwin tried to convince Joe Pierogiovanni not to choose his girlfriend, Darla Denyse, so that he could choose her for his team but Joe wasn’t having it. Kris Mork recruited girlfriend Krystal Stanley and Tom Ryan decided to make things easy for the Eadicicco household by picking both Mark and Sara for his team when the time came. 

And the games began! 

This event showed, like most, that some people just get better with time, using that first game to warm up. The best example of the night being Megan Gaul who bowled Game 1 with a respectable 93 but then followed it up with an even more impressive 148 in Game 2. 

On the other hand, fatigue and alcohol consumption would see some people declining throughout the night. Kevin Rogers, leader of team “Irritable bowling Syndrome”, would start out strong with a 152 and end the second game with gutters and a 117.

While a third group, stayed exactly the same. Maureen Seaquist, who bowled a 112 in each game was proud of her performance. “112 is pretty mediocre. It just felt right, so I kept it going.” she was quoted after the game. While Bill Seaquist, similarly, bowled a 104 both games. “I don’t think anybody told my team I’m recovering from a snow sport injury. The least I can do is stay consistent.”

At the end of the two games, the scores were tallied and the results were in. Lane averages ranged from 109.8 (Hillary Scott’s Team “Make Cursive Great Again”) to the ultimate winners, Team “Howard Dean’s Scream”’s 141.9. Team leader, Tom Ryan, was elated when he found out the new technique he had adopted had been successful. “Usually I show up #$^%faced drunk, but this time I decided to take it easy pregaming - and now look! Winner.”

The coveted hardware will live for the next month in Tom Ryan’s “hands”, rumored to be on view at Adobe Blues bar, to be returned and christened with an engraved plate in February. 


*Other notables for the evening included:

- Joe Pierogiovanni took home The Dude pieces. Moments after winning the trophy, with a 125.5 event average, he dropped it and it split in 2. These shoddily created, handicraft trophies get no respect!

- This month’s Gutter Trash award winner, Michael Chiappi, with only 9 gutters! 9?? Seems like people in this league are getting better. The League can confidently report back that HIS trophy is still in one piece. 

- No new additions to the Turkey Club this event, but several calls of “Turkey Watch: could be heard throughout the lanes. Most notably on co-commissioner, Dan Derwin’s lane - where he was bowling so speedily he had two “almost turkeys” in a row but, unfortunately, couldn’t seal the deal. “I jinxed it by calling ‘Turkey Watch’ on my own self’ he was later overheard in the locker room telling coworker Brian Frizzola.